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Funny Illness Quotes
Funny Quotes about Illness

Let these funny Illness Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer

Stress is nothing more than a
socially acceptable form of mental illness.
- Richard Carlson

By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed;
to kindness,
to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
- Marcel Proust


 

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because
we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
- Anais Nin

You can die of the cure before you die of the illness.
- Michael Landon

People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged
sooner or later to find time for illness.
- John Wanamaker


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Above all, do not lose your desire to walk.
Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being
and walk away from every illness.
I have walked myself into my best thoughts,
and I know of no thought so burdensome
that one cannot walk away from it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

We will continue to do all we can to protect the public
health against these dietary supplements that have
been found to cause serious illness and injury.
- Andrew von Eschenbach

I believe that all the important people in my life
prior to 1982 were victimized by my illness.
- Patty Duke

I don't think there is one cause of Gulf War illness.
- Christopher Shays

America had taken my father from me.
And over most of the years of his illness,
I gradually started feeling this support system from
this country who-people grieving along with us.
- Patti Davis

What worse illness can there be than acute conventionality.
You should pray every night that you don't wake up with it.
- George Weinberg

A man's illness is his private territory and,
no matter how much he loves you and how close you are,
you stay an outsider.
You are healthy.
- Lauren Bacall

Everybody believes in psychiatry; it's supposed to be for our own good.
Let psychiatry prove that anybody has an illness,
and I'd concede, but there is no physical proof.
- Kate Millett

Illness has always brought me nearer to a state of grace.
- Abbe Pierre

Through my illness I learned rejection.
I was written off.
That was the moment I thought, Okay,
game on.
No prisoners.
Everybody's going down.
- Lance Armstrong

I did as much research as I could and I took ownership of this illness,
because if you don't take care of your body,
where are you going to live?
- Karen Duffy

I was diagnosed with the illness right before the 1995 World Cup.
- Jonah Lomu

In childhood I developed a serious throat infection,
and my heart stopped beating.
I recovered from that illness with a voice that boomed forth like Kate Smith's!
- Patsy Cline

I don't believe you have to have eating disorders and
mental illness to screw up.
- Kirstie Alley

Most of the albums that have taken long have been related
to illness and fatigue or producer problems.
- David Coverdale

A collection makes its own demands.
Many artists have been collectors.
I think of it rather as an illness.
I felt it was using up too much energy.
- Howard Hodgkin

My mother's illness fitted into this protest against
the treatment of the sick who could not pay,
the inefficiency of commercialism, the waste,
the extravagance, and the poverty.
- Ellen Wilkinson

The easiest time to cure an illness is before it is
accepted as a part of the self-image.
- Jane Roberts

My biggest excuse to others and myself was that I had writer's block,
as if it was some kind of illness.
- Mary Garden

To the fantastic mental illness of Rationalism,
hard facts are regrettable things, and to talk about them is to create them.
- Francis Parker Yockey

Concealing an illness is like keeping a beach ball under water.
- Karen Duffy

I mean, I'm 48 years old and I've been through a lot in my life -
you know,
loss, whether it be death, illness, separation.
I mean, the failed expectations...
We all have dreams.
- Annie Lennox

Neurotics complain of their illness,
but they make the most of it,
and when it comes to talking it away from them they
will defend it like a lioness her young.
- Sigmund Freud

But Gulf War Syndrome is not one cause,
not one illness.
It is many causes, many illnesses.
- Christopher Shays

I didn't want to do a zoo show.
I didn't want to do a study of someone with mental illness.
I just wanted to show someone who was trying to live their life.
- Daniel Craig

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends.
If they're okay, then it's you.
- Rita Mae Brown

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania,
that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.
- Margaret Atwood

Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it
regards itself as therapy.
- Karl Kraus

I don't really live like a musician myself.
I think music is just something that I do,
but I'd like to be doing lots of other things.
I like to cure all kinds of illness.
- Ornette Coleman

A transfer of money should never be involved in this profound situation.
Although illness is profound, too, but medicine's a business today.
It's a business.
- Jack Kevorkian

I've just learned about his illness.
Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb

Illness strikes men when they are exposed to change.
- Herodotus

Without anxiety and illness I should have been like a ship without a rudder.
- Edvard Munch

Refuse to be ill.
Never tell people you are ill; never own it to yourself.
Illness is one of those things which a man should resist
on principle at the onset.
- Robert Bulwer-Lytton

When there's a terrible illness like AIDS sweeping through,
you help people.
- Bernadette Peters

I have not missed a day from work because of illness since 1956.
- Kenneth H. Cooper

Besides, wouldn't it be wonderful if no one ever had
to worry about the random cruelty of fatal illness
or the woes of old age attacking them or their loved ones?
- Joan D. Vinge

I think illness is a family journey,
no matter what the outcome.
Everybody has to be allowed to process it and mourn
and deal with it in their own way.
- Marcia Wallace

MS is not really a degenerative illness.
It is not fatal, nor is it always progressive.
- Annette Funicello

A lot of our entertainment throws into detail the stagnation
and illness of how we live today-it's sad and it's sick...
and it's profitable.
- Heather Donahue

The good thing about having this illness is that it
allows me to be a little bit crazy.
- Neil Cavuto

For too long we have swept the problems of mental illness under the carpet...
and hoped that they would go away.
- Richard J. Codey

I'd read things, like people criticizing me.
But no one likes to read stuff about that,
and probably the main thing that was getting to me was me mum's illness.
- Jack Osbourne

Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.
- Alan Bennett

We have much to be judged on when he comes,
slums and battlefields and insane asylums,
but these are the symptoms of our illness and the result of our failures in love.
- Madeleine L'Engle

The secret of learning to be sick is this:
Illness doesn't make you less of what you were.
You are still you.
- Tony Snow

An illness is like a journey into a far country;
it sifts all one's experience and removes it to a point
so remote that it appears like a vision.
- Sholem Asch

When a man is ill nothing is so important to him as his own illness.
- Anthony Trollope

Please believe that I do this because I am convinced
that my illness cannot be helped for any length of
time and I cannot bear to be a burden on anyone any longer.
- Susannah McCorkle

I have suffered from depression for most of my life.
It is an illness.
- Adam Ant

One always has the idea of a stupid man as perfectly healthy and ordinary,
and of illness as making one refined and clever and unusual.
- Thomas Mann

Societies need to have one illness which becomes identified with evil,
and attaches blame to its victims.
- Susan Sontag

Paranoia is an illness I contracted in institutions.
It is not the reason for my sentences to reform school and prison.
It is the effect, not the cause.
- Jack Henry Abbott

It took a deadly illness to put me eye to eye with that truth,
but it is a truth that the country, caught up in its
ruthless ambitions and moral decay,
can learn on my dime.
- Lee Atwater

Though bitter, good medicine cures illness.
Though it may hurt, loyal criticism will have beneficial effects.
- Sima Qian

Since my illness, I've felt the presence of my angels.
- Fran Drescher

Art is a kind of illness.
- Giacomo Puccini

I did not fully understand the dread term 'terminal
illness' until I saw Heathrow for myself.
- Dennis Potter

I've got asthma.
When I was 17 I forgot to take my medication and was
taken to a hospital for almost two weeks.
After that I've taken better care of my illness.
- Ville Valo

Factions are a sign of illness in a party.
- Ernest Mandel

In this most powerful nation in the world,
lack of access to health care should not force local and state governments,
companies and workers into bankruptcy,
while causing unnecessary illness and hospitalization.
- John Conyers

Cases of sickness made up a very small percentage which
in my opinion was normal.
However, propaganda pamphlets dropped from aircraft
were telling the workers to feign illness,
and detailed instructions were given to them on how to do it.
- Albert Speer

What is the natural reaction when told you have a hopeless
mental illness? That diagnosis does you in;
that,
and the humiliation of being there.
I mean, the indignity you're subjected to.
My God.
- Kate Millett

You have this mounting aggressive ignorance with the
rabbit's foot of their particular religion.
You don't really have any kind of spiritual law,
just a kind of a rabid mental illness.
The songs are a little slice of life.
- Joni Mitchell


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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