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Funny Horns Quotes
Funny Quotes about Horns

Let these funny Horns Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde PHOTO

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer


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Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup


 

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw

He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco

However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?
- The Buddha

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

I object to violence because
when it appears to do good,
the good is only temporary;
the evil it does is permanent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle

The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Regret is an appalling waste of energy,
you can't build on it - it's only good for wallowing in.
- Katherine Mansfield

There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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