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Funny Honest Quotes
Funny Quotes about Honest

Let these funny Honest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears!
The magic feather was just a gag!
You can fly! Honest, you can!
- Timothy Q. Mouse in the movie Dumbo


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Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations;
entangling alliances with none.
- Thomas Jefferson

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

Treat those who are good with goodness,
and also treat those who are not good with goodness.
Thus goodness is attained.
Be honest to those who are honest,
and be also honest to those who are not honest.
Thus honesty is attained.
- Lao Tzu


 

I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
- Socrates

The world is moved along, not only
by the mighty shoves of its heroes,
but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes
of each honest worker.
- Helen Keller

An honest man is always a child.
- Socrates

There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter

It is a fine thing to be honest,
but it is also very important to be right.
- Winston Churchill

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

May we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,
a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
- Leo Buscaglia

We should not pretend to understand
the world only by the intellect;
we apprehend it just as much by feeling.
Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is,
at best, only the half of truth, and must, if it be honest,
also come to an understanding of its inadequacy.
- Carl Jung

Only good comes from being honest and true.
Only harm and suffering come from falsehood.
It doesn't always feel as if good comes from truth and honesty,
but, in the long run, it does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
- Thomas Jefferson

People grow through experience
if they meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
- Victor Hugo

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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