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Let these funny Hoist Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Hoist the sails of CHOICE
to harness the winds of JOY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Scuttle the Assumptions, dash the Expectations,
and hoist the sails of CHOICE to harness the winds of JOY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.
- Bertha Calloway (attributed) 
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain
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The winds of grace are always blowing;
all we need to do is raise our sails.
- Anonymous
Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung
If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins
Life always rides in strength to victory,
not through internationalism...
but only through the direct responsibility of the individual.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
We who engage in nonviolent direct action
are not the creators of tension.
We merely bring to the surface
the hidden tension that is already alive.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion
to his commitment to excellence,
regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi
And think not, you can direct the course of love;
for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
- Khalil Gibran
Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Remember that "concern" is about the time, energy, and emotion
that we direct toward worrying about something or someone -
not whether we are for that something or against it.
However, nothing that we do for fun is ever a "concern."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is much more painful to have lost
something you thought you had,
than never to have had it at all.
If feels as if our trust was dashed.
We are disappointed and we are angry;
but not quite sure at who to direct our anger.
Someone, perhaps "the system," perhaps God,
should have done better.
Most of all we are angry at ourselves -
even though we did our best -
and we are afraid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anger and Danger are intimately intertwined.
An angry person is a dangerous person,
whether that person crosses our path
or whether the angry person is ourself.
To complete the anger/danger cycle,
whenever we feel threatened -
when we believe we are in danger -
we tend to exhibit anger as well as fear.
We look for someone to blame for the dangerous situation,
and direct our anger toward them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision.
The ability to direct individual accomplishments
toward organizational objectives.
It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
- Andrew Carnegie
Human subtlety will never devise an invention
more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature,
because in her inventions nothing is lacking,
and nothing is superfluous.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
Customs do not concern themselves
with right or wrong or reason.
But they have to be obeyed;
one reasons all around them until he is tired,
but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
- Mark Twain
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Not until we are lost
do we begin to understand ourselves.
- Henry David Thoreau
The power of intuitive understanding
will protect you from harm until the end of your days.
- Lao Tzu
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
- Carl Jung
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson
When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
People don't care how much you know
until they know how much they care.
- John C. Maxwell
We cannot change anything until we accept it.
- Carl Jung
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Until he extends the circle of
his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace.
- Albert Schweitzer
War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy
Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.
I can never be what I ought to be
until you are what you ought to be.
This is the interrelated structure of reality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It always seems impossible until its done.
- Nelson Mandela
The way to do fieldwork is never to
come up for air until it is all over.
- Margaret Mead
You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view.
- Harper Lee
Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln
As a happy person, you radiate happiness to the world.
Visualize your light radiating throughout the world,
passing from person to person until it encircles the globe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
- Pablo Picasso
A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb
Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous
I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.
- old Persian Proverb
The regrets and resentments etched in a heart
remain until they are cleansed away with love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent
will not pass until there is
an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Know that you cannot create great new beginnings
until you sincerely celebrate the endings that precede them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Everyone is wise, until he speaks.
- Irish proverb
Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin
Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher
Death comes to all,
but great achievements build a monument
which shall endure until the sun grows cold.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith
We don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.
Freedom is like that. It's like air.
When you have it, you don't notice it.
- Boris Yeltsin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.