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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Hers Quotes
Funny Quotes about Hers

Let these funny Hers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

A wife should no more take her husband's name than he should hers.
My name is my identity and must not be lost.
- Lucy Stone

Well, knowledge is a fine thing, and mother Eve thought so;
but she smarted so severely for hers,
that most of her daughters have been afraid of it since.
- Abigail Adams

When I write stories I am like someone who is in her own country,
walking along streets that she has known since she was a child,
between walls and trees that are hers.
- Natalia Ginzburg


 

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight,
I could hardly breathe.
- Benny Hill

But who can paint like Nature? Can imagination boast,
amid its gay creation, hues like hers?
- James Thomson

After my mother died, I found, a little book of hers
which recorded everything I had ever done,
how I had done it, and how proud she was of her son Conrad.
- Conrad Veidt


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Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers,
She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.
- Brian P. Cleary

When a woman removes her garment, she also removes
the respect that is hers.
- Herodotus

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will
get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers.
Well, duh.
At least his book has some sex in it.
- Jay Leno

Woman must have her freedom, the fundamental freedom
of choosing whether or not she will be a mother and
how many children she will have.
Regardless of what man's attitude may be,
that problem is hers - and before it can be his,
it is hers alone.
- Margaret Sanger

When a mother quarrels with a daughter,
she has a double dose of unhappiness hers from the conflict,
and empathy with her daughter's from the conflict with her.
Throughout her life a mother retains this special need
to maintain a good relationship with her daughter.
- Terri Apter

Everyone has determination - it's a question of how you use it.
Hers is based on power and success and conquering;
she doesn't care what she has to do or who gets hurt in the process.
In that way we're very, very different.
- Dannii Minogue

Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

What we've got here is failure to communicate.
- the movie Cool Hand Luke

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
- Emo Philips

And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

Be here now.
- Ram Dass

Many of our own people here in this country do not ask about computers,
telephones and television sets.
They ask - when will we get a road to our village.
- Thabo Mbeki

Could you risk believing that everything
will unfold just fine if you completely let go
of all concern about everything else,
and simply are here, now - if only for a moment?
- Dmitri Bilgere

Beauty saves.
Beauty heals.
Beauty motivates.
Beauty unites.
Beauty returns us to our origins, and here lies the ultimate act of saving,
of healing, of overcoming dualism.
- Matthew Fox

The buck stops here.
- Harry S. Truman

Service to others is the rent you pay
for your room here on earth.
- Muhammad Ali

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

You can choose to be peaceful right here and now ...
it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Don't hurry. Don't worry.
You're only here for a short visit.
So don't forget to stop and smell the roses.
- Walter Hagen

Part of our essential humanity is paying respect to what God gave us
and what will be here a long time after we're gone.
- William J. Clinton

The best way to enhance freedom in other lands
is to demonstrate here that our democratic system
is worthy of emulation.
- Jimmy Carter

As athletes, we're used to reacting quickly.
Here, it's 'come, stop, come, stop.' There's a lot of downtime.
That's the toughest part of the day.
- Michael Jordan

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
- Richard Bach

Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something.
- Thomas A. Edison

Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Here's kind of my motto - if you're not happy at home,
you're not happy anywhere else.
- Angie Harmon

It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now.
When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies.
We are seeing what is before us.
- John Bradshaw

Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous

Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
And Wilderness is Paradise enow.
- Omar Khayyam

We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife.
Then he realized there was a contradiction involved
here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
- Douglas Adams

Here is my first principle of foreign policy:
good government at home.
- William E. Gladstone

We, therefore, here in Britain stand shoulder to shoulder
with our American friends in this hour of tragedy,
and we, like them, will not rest until this evil is driven from our world.
- Tony Blair

The world is a better place because I am here.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

America cannot continue to lead the family of nations
around the world if we suffer the collapse of the family here at home.
- Mitt Romney

A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're
talking about real money.
- Everett Dirksen

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here
to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
- Earl Wilson

Walk on road, hmmm?
Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe.
Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape.
Here, karate, same thing.
Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no."
You karate do "guess so," squish just like grape. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

The past is no more and the future is not yet.
The only right person is one who lives moment to moment,
whose arrow is directed to the moment,
who is always here and now; wherever he is,
his whole consciousness, his whole being,
is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now.
- Osho

Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Every decision you make - every decision -
is not a decision about what to do.
It's a decision about Who You Are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes.
You begin to see life in a new way.
All events, occurrences, and situations
turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.
- Neale Donald Walsch

It's not the situation that's causing your stress,
it's your thoughts,
and you can change that right here and now.
You can choose to be peaceful right here and now.
Peace is a choice,
and it has nothing to do with
what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver

I believe in everything until it's disproved.
So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons.
It all exists, even if it's in your mind.
Who's to say that dreams and nightmares
aren't as real as the here and now?
- John Lennon

When we ask for love, we don't ask others to be fair
to us-but rather to care for us,
to be considerate of us.
There is a world of difference here between demanding justice...
and begging or pleading for love.
- Mortimer Adler

I can make dressing - or stuffing.
Y'all call it stuffing up here, we call it dressing down there.
It's really good dressing.
That family recipe was passed on, and I love to make that.
- Edie Brickell

The world is a better place because I am here;
the energy that I radiate into this world
is a gift beyond my own understanding.
Through ME, an all encompassing Love enters this world;
and I am profoundly grateful that the Powers of Light
have chosen ME to be a conduit for Infinite Love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And If I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director? I want to see him.
- Soren Kierkegaard

It is good to realize that if love and peace can prevail on earth,
and if we can teach our children to honor nature's gifts,
the joys and beauties of the outdoors will be here forever.
- Jimmy Carter

I'm a teenager, but I'm independent -
I have my own apartment,
I have my own life.
And I think I have learned more than any of those teenagers have in school.
I learned to be responsible, leaving my family and coming here alone.
- Adriana Lima


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.