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Let these funny Heal Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland
A broken bone can heal, but the wound
a word opens can fester forever.
- Jessamyn West
Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes
Forgiveness is the only way to heal
- don Miguel Ruiz
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The secret of success is to find a need and fill it,
to find a hurt and heal it,
to find somebody with a problem
and offer to help solve it.
- Robert H. Schuller
There is magic in sincere forgiveness - magic to heal.
- Terry Goodkind
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir
Believe in the goodness of life.
Believe in the power of time to heal and to renew.
Believe in the power of forgiveness and gratitude.
Believe in the gift of rainbows and butterflies.
Believe in the laughter of children.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins
I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One service to need heals an ancient wound.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding
and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran
Forgiveness is the salve that heals
the wounds of unkind words and acts.
Forgive everyone for every hurt you have ever received -
for your own sake, that you may live in peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.
It's a relationship between equals.
Only when we know our own darkness well
can we be present with the darkness of others.
Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The Science of Mind is intensely practical
because it teaches us how to use
the Mind Principle for definite purposes,
such as helping those who are sick, impoverished, or unhappy.
- Ernest Holmes
The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson
Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of the form it takes.
- A Course In Miracles
Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass
Like a Manatee, I am Peaceful, Respectful,
Gentle, Kind, and Self-Healing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett
If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper
It's fine to celebrate success
but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.
- Bill Gates
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
Reading about nature is fine, but if a person
walks in the woods and listens carefully,
he can learn more than what is in books,
for they speak with the voice of God.
- George Washington Carver
The best effort of a fine person
is felt after we have left their presence.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't take rejection personally.
Don't let someone else's bad day spoil your day.
As long as you never reject yourself, you'll be fine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is a fine line between
the perseverance of the courageous tortoise
and the habit of the stubborn donkey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got
a tolerable planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde
The key to success, and to happiness,
is being fully engaged in life -
leading yourself with inspiration and committed action -
setting your own fine and honorable example.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Could you risk believing that everything
will unfold just fine if you completely let go
of all concern about everything else,
and simply are here, now - if only for a moment?
- Dmitri Bilgere
It is a fine thing to be honest,
but it is also very important to be right.
- Winston Churchill
Spirit is always waiting to rush into us,
but we are too full of worldly things.
It is like trying to pour fine wine into a cup filled with mud -
the wine is waiting, but the mud must be removed first.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is a fine line between perseverance and insanity.
At what point have you tried your best,
and it's time to do something different?
It's a balance - a paradox.
If you get in the habit of giving up
as soon as something gets difficult,
your life won't work,
but if you keep tilting at windmills -
madly trying the same thing again and again,
your life also won't work.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All fine architectural values are human values, else not valuable.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho
Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.