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Let these funny Harried Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
We are composed of self-contradictions.
Each of us is loving in some moments - hateful in others.
Patient and calm sometimes - harried by urgency at others.
Understanding - and self-absorbed.
Reassuring - and sarcastic.
Generous - and greedy.
Trusting - and jealous.
Comforting - and snappish.
Original - and stuck in a rut.
Thankful - and needy.
Forgiving - and vengeful.
Nurturing ourself - and stuffing ourself with fast food.
Honoring our bodies - and overstressing.
Being Joyful - and Suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
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Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman
The buck stops here.
- Harry S. Truman
No man is the whole of himself;
his friends are the rest of him.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick
It does not do to dwell on dreams, ...
and forget to live.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
- Sydney Harris
When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard,"
I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?
- Sydney Harris
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
- Henry David Thoreau
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins
Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy
The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton
A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau
The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time is an untamed beast
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is no time for ease and comfort.
It is time to dare and endure.
- Winston Churchill
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The mind exists in time, in fact the mind is time;
it exists in the past and the future.
And remember, time consists of only two tenses,
the past and the future.
The present is not part of time,
the present is part of eternity.
- Osho
Urgent? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.