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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Hair Quotes
Funny Quotes about Hair

Let these funny Hair Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- Lily Tomlin

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
- Bette Davis


 

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
- Jay London

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
- Hillary Clinton


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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Gray hair is God's graffiti.
- Bill Cosby

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar
haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
- Sam Ewing

Judgment is discernment on a bad hair day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Old age adds to the respect due to virtue,
but it takes nothing from the contempt inspired by vice;
it whitens only the hair.
- Ira Gershwin

If you look over the years, the styles have changed -
the clothes,
the hair, the production, the approach to the songs.
The icing to the cake has changed flavors.
But if you really look at the cake itself,
it's really the same.
- John Oates

It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ever had a bad hair day -
a day when everything seemed to be going wrong?
Perhaps today is a day to soothe your ruffled feathers,
take a deep breath, and reaffirm that
the weight of the world is really not on your shoulders,
unless you choose to assume that burden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Gather yourself by the sea shore and I will love you there.
Assemble yourself with wild things,
with songs of the sparrow and sea-foam.
Let mad beauty collect itself in your eyes
and it will shine - Calling me.
For I long for a man with nests of wild things in his hair.
A man who will Kiss the Flame.
- Jewel

They kept me in short pants as long as they could,
until they were shaving the hair on my legs because
it was beginning to photograph.
- Jackie Cooper

Even drawing gray hair at all is difficult to render in black and white.
- Alison Bechdel

I felt like calling attention to AIDS.
I had the AIDS ribbon colored into my hair during the playoffs in '95.
- Dennis Rodman

The American Race is marked by a brown complexion;
long,
black, lank hair; and deficient beard.
- Samuel George Morton

No self-respecting gay guy would have ever made some
of the hair and clothing choices I am still trying to live down.
- David Copperfield

I studied voice for three months to get rid of my English accent.
I changed my hair to blonde.
I knew I could be sexy if I had to.
- Deborah Kerr

You know us crazy kids.
We'll do anything crazy to our hair.
- Ryan Gosling

Well I could have been just a writer.
I had been a hair dresser.
I could have stuck with that.
- Fran Drescher

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue
to grow but phone calls taper off.
- Johnny Carson

I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal!
Arms, bikini, legs, underarms...
my entire body is hairless.
- Kim Kardashian

I can't bear looking in the mirror -
I guess that's why my hair looks like this.
- Lance Bass

She looks like she combs her hair with an egg beater.
- Hedda Hopper

I hate the only one of my book jackets when I was made up professionally,
my hair made into a smooth bell.
- Antonia Fraser

I am not the archetypal leading man.
This is mainly for one reason: as you may have noticed,
I have no hair.
- Patrick Stewart

Surely the fact that a uniformed police officer is
wearing his hair below his collar will make him no
less identifiable as a policeman.
- Thurgood Marshall

Men don't get smarter when they grow older.
They just lose their hair.
- Claudette Colbert

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world,
and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull
my hair out by the roots.
- Sharon Stone

My quest these days is to find my long lost inner child,
but I'm afraid if I do, I'll end up with food in my
hair and way too in love with the cats.
- Kenny Loggins

Nowadays, they have more trouble packing hair dryers than baseball equipment.
- Bob Feller

No nose hair.
Ever.
You'd be surprised at all the little twigs sticking out.
I just can't get it.
How can you see that and not just want to hack it off?
- Kyan Douglas

I really fought to make my character not a stereotype.
I play a soap star with dyed blonde hair.
- Sadie Frost

If Edwards gained 60 pounds and lost all his hair,
he'd look like Dick Cheney!
- Neil Cavuto

Youth is not restored by the dyeing of your hair.
- Abu Bakr

This head has risen above its hair in a moment of abandon
known only to men who have drawn their feet out of
their boots to walk awhile in the corridors of the mind.
- Djuna Barnes

I am just old-fashioned enough to prefer long hair.
- Erich von Stroheim

No rival will steal away my sure love;
that glory will be my gray hair.
- Sextus Propertius

And forget not that the earth delights to feel your
bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
- Khalil Gibran

To be with the others, you have to have your hair short and wear ties.
So we're trying to make a third world happen,
you know what I mean?
- Jimi Hendrix

When I was 12, every little girl in Russia was trying
to wear her hair like mine and playing tennis.
- Anna Kournikova

I'd rather wear jewels in my hair than anywhere else.
The face should have the advantage of this brilliance.
- Hedy Lamarr

When I was much younger, I sometimes felt rejected
by feminists because of an image that I sold because it paid the bills.
Any fool could tell my hair is dyed.
- Felicity Kendal

To be completely stripped bare of any image power or my hair.
To step onstage and get the response that I got blew
any problems I had about self-image out the door.
- Melissa Etheridge

It is not white hair that engenders wisdom.
- Menander

I know that I've got big ears and a big forehead and that my hair sticks up.
But I'm happy with myself.
I'm not necessarily trying to win a beauty pageant here.
- Clay Aiken

For six months I'd do movies and make it all about me.
Then the other six months, it's not about me and it
doesn't matter what my hair looks like or what anything looks like.
- Rachel True

I was getting frustrated with America.
It's interesting how as simple a thing as,
like, letting your hair grow longer changed in the world in those days.
- Terry Gilliam

I have a friend who, if she has a bad hair day,
it affects her whole mood because it is part of her sexuality,
her confidence.
I don't have that problem any more.
- Cathy Freeman

My concern today is not with the length of a person's
hair but with his conduct.
- Richard M. Nixon

I don't consider myself bald, I'm just taller than my hair.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

But quite honestly, personally, I was much more concerned -
I mean,
there's not much I can do about my appearance obviously
other than spending four hours in hair and makeup.
- Diane Kruger

I always had the facial hair so I looked older than I was.
- Jimmy Smith

I grew up in Dallas, with cowboys.
I was the only guy in sixth grade with long hair and an earring.
Let's just say I got a lot of, er, flak for being different.
- Barry Watson

A wartime Minister of Information is compelled,
in the national interest, to such continuous acts of
duplicity that even his natural hair must grow to resemble a wig.
- Claud Cockburn

I wish I had more hair on my head.
Maybe if I sprinkled fertilizer on it,
it would grow.
- Kylie Bax

It's a hard thing to age a character because you can't
really suddenly give someone gray hair.
- Alison Bechdel

I wasn't making it with the violin because I was playing
all of the 'long hair' stuff.
- Louis Prima

I don't have much choice these days in how I have my hair.
- Mackenzie Crook

Acting is all about big hair and funny props...
All the great actors knew it.
Olivier knew it, Brando knew it.
- Harold Ramis

Bobbed hair makes women look uniform.
They lack individuality.
- Erich von Stroheim

Ron was always my favorite character,
because I feel like I relate to him,
like we've both got red hair,
we both like sweets, we've both got lots of brothers and sisters.
- Rupert Grint

So, I'm going to go over on Angel.
Joss is just going to find a way to keep me bleaching my hair,
which is fine.
- James Marsters

I was traveling on our tour bus through Europe and
I was thinking I want to have long blonde hair.
- Nina Hagen

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry;
it's just not in a place I can show you.
- Kinky Friedman


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.