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Funny Guilty Quotes
Funny Quotes about Guilty

Let these funny Guilty Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is more dangerous that even
a guilty person should be punished
without the forms of law
than that he should escape.
- Thomas Jefferson

I Release Myself From All Guilt.
I forgive myself for judging me guilty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point


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Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

All religions are the same:
Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
- Cathy Ladman

Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Guilt is about actions or behavior;
while shame is about the self.
- "Dr. Sanity"

You go against yourself when you
judge or blame yourself for anything
- don Miguel Ruiz

Guilt is only another way of avoiding informed action.
- Audre Lorde

Guilt says I've done something wrong;
... shame says there is something wrong with me.
Guilt says I've made a mistake;
... shame says I am a mistake.
Guilt says what did was not good;
... shame says I am no good.
- John Bradshaw

I Release Myself From All Guilt.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be yourself. There is nothing more for you to do
than to be the best YOU that you can be -
with no imitation, no pretense, no guilt, no shame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Negro needs the white man to free him from his fears.
The white man needs the Negro to free him from his guilt.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I rest in the light of forgiveness.
I forgive myself and others for that
which is done (and better left undone)
and also that which is not done (and better if done).
I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt.
I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You are not your mind. You, a Spiritual BEing,
are neither your mind nor your body.
Mind and body are your tools - to use as you choose.
Sometimes your body appears to have a will of its own,
as when it twitches or pains.
Likewise, your mind often appears to have its own will.
That incessant chattering of regret, disappointment, guilt,
shame, foreboding, worry, and fear
is your Rattlesnake Mind striking off on its own.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By letting it go it all gets done.
The world is won by those who let it go.
But when you try and try.
The world is beyond the winning.
- Lao Tzu

Honor your being,
Release each and every struggle,
Gather strength from life's storms,
Relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiveness is not always easy.
At times, it feels more painful
than the wound we suffered,
to forgive the one that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
- Marianne Williamson

We have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging,
to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want.
- Joe Vitale

Breath by breath, let go of fear, expectation, anger,
regret, cravings, frustration, fatigue.
Let go of the need for approval.
- Lama Surya Das

I Release Each And Every Struggle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is my day to honor my being,
release each and every struggle,
gather strength from life's storms,
relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the power of ritual.
Release your troubles to the cleansing fire of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I chose to release all my attachments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The people are the foundation of the nation.
Our only chance for a lasting peace on earth:
the release of the strength of the common man.
- Jimmy Yen

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.
The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things;
knows not the livid loneliness of fear.
- Amelia Earhart

I can release my "responsibilities",
and be "impractical" whenever I choose.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Release All My Troubles To The Cleansing Fire.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to honor your being,
release each and every struggle,
gather strength from life's storms,
relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem.
It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
- Albert Einstein

Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have to have it, it's ego.
If you have to not have it, it's ego.
Hold life lightly and it will deliver what you need
and release what you don't.
- Alan Cohen

I release the familiar that I may better discover my inspiring future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All life is change.
Release your attachment to the way things have been,
and wend your way joyfully
through life's unfolding majesty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today I Release All My Troubles And Grief.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Relief has its place. But what the people need
is not relief, but release -
release of their own potential for development.
- Jimmy Yen

I forgive everyone for every "wrong"
that I believe they have ever inflicted upon me.
I forgive them for my own sake,
that I may release the venom -
the anger and resentment within myself -
and regain my joy and serenity.
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When your whole family is loving and supportive, it is a great blessing.
But when family members are indifferent or hostile, release your expectations,
and find the love and support you need elsewhere.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stop holding on to the past.
Release your regrets about whatever you may have done
or failed to do that turned out poorly.
Forgive others for whatever they may have done
or failed to do that cause you harm.
Declare today to be a new beginning.
Let go of the past and move on with creating
a joyful new future for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made
that didn't work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn't meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the "wrong" spouse or the "wrong" career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer

Letting go doesn't mean giving up...
it means moving on.
- Anonymous

Inner peace can be reached
only when we practice forgiveness ...
letting go of the past,
and correcting our misperceptions.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Once you have seen the truth
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Sheri Rosenthal

We need less posturing and more genuine charisma.
Charisma was originally a religious term,
meaning "of the spirit" or "inspired."
It's about letting God's light shine through us.
It's about a sparkle in people that money can't buy.
It's an invisible energy with visible effects.
To let go, to just love, is not to fade into the wallpaper.
Quite the contrary, it's when we truly become bright.
We're letting our own light shine.
- Marianne Williamson

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.