Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Gradation Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain
A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill
The earth is like a spaceship
that didn't come with an operating manual.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you.
If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you.
But I did, I do, and I will.
- Anonymous
Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela
The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I have found out in later years that we were very poor,
but the glory of America is that we didn't know it then.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
He didn't come out of my belly, but my God,
I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal,
and how he sleeps,
and the fact that he swims like a fish
because I took him to the ocean.
I'm so proud of all those things.
But he is my biggest pride.
- John Lennon
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick,
at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
- The Buddha
What if happiness were found in the serenity of simple pleasures.
What if we didn't need the newest gizmo... the highest high?
What if happiness is in the air we breathe...
slowly, deeply, and consciously?
What if happiness is one fresh grape, savored with gratitude?
What if happiness is in our oneness with all creation?
What if happiness is about enjoying life exactly as it comes to us -
without chasing after it?
What if happiness is something we CHOOSE...
regardless of our circumstances?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
- Mother Teresa
Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago?
Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy
on account of most of them?
Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie
When you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while waiting for you,
and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living.
When you can see that, you begin to meet people
who are in the field of your bliss,
and they open the doors to you.
I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid,
and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.
If you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell
Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made
that didn't work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn't meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the "wrong" spouse or the "wrong" career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have never written a book that didn't teach me
far more than it taught any reader.
- Isaac Asimov
There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren
From one point of view, one individual's vote
doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
The probability of an election swinging
by a single vote is infinitesimal.
On the other hand, if everybody took the attitude
that voting didn't matter, there could never
be a democratically elected government - at all.
So, does your vote matter? You bet your vote matters.
And, at least as much as your vote matters,
your intention for the future of the world matters.
That's so important, it's worth saying again.
At Least As Much As Your Vote Matters,
Your Intention For The Future Of The Entire World Matters.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most of us seldom let the outrageous
part of ourselves out to play.
Notice that I didn't say "never," I said "seldom."
Halloween is one of those exceptions.
While there are certainly many "bah humbug" houses on our street,
more than half the houses wear an acknowledgement of Halloween -
and nothing about Halloween is NOT outrageous.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Thank you for visiting: Funny Gradation Quotes - Funny Quotes about Gradation.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.