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Funny Gets Quotes
Funny Quotes about Gets

Let these funny Gets Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor


 

The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)


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Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

By letting it go it all gets done.
The world is won by those who let it go.
But when you try and try.
The world is beyond the winning.
- Lao Tzu

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

An optimist is one who makes the best
of what he gets the worst of.
- Anonymous

A man is a success if he gets up in
the morning and gets to bed at night,
and in between he does what he wants to do.
- Bob Dylan

Worrying is like a rocking chair,
it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
- Glenn Turner

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion often gets in the way of God.
- Bono

A great secret of success is to go through life
as a man who never gets used up.
- Albert Schweitzer

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
- Joseph P. Kennedy

It is amazing how much you can accomplish
when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.
- Anonymous

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
- Albert Einstein

The youth gets together his materials
to build a bridge to the moon,
or, perchance, a palace or temple on the earth,
and, at length, the middle-aged man
concludes to build a woodshed with them.
- Henry David Thoreau

There is no limit to what a man can do
or where he can go,
if he doesn't mind who gets the credit.
- Robert Woodruff

The Master acts without doing, and everything gets done.
- Lao Tzu

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Nobody ever gets to see what could have been.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud

There is a crack in everything,
that's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen

Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch

There is a fine line between perseverance and insanity.
At what point have you tried your best,
and it's time to do something different?
It's a balance - a paradox.
If you get in the habit of giving up
as soon as something gets difficult,
your life won't work,
but if you keep tilting at windmills -
madly trying the same thing again and again,
your life also won't work.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

We are always getting ready to live but never living.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks
into small manageable tasks,
and starting on the first one.
- Mark Twain

"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either.
What you make a habit of putting-off
just keeps getting pushed away again and again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You create stress in your life by getting angry,
and you can instantly remove
that stress by granting forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein

Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang

Remember that the happiest people
are not those getting more, but those giving more.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett

Happiness isn't at the end of the rainbow.
Happiness is at the beginning of the rainbow.
Following the rainbow is happiness,
not getting to the end of it.
- Werner Erhard

There is nothing with which every man is so afraid
as getting to know how enormously much
he is capable of doing and becoming.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Success is getting what you want;
happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie

Every day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Anonymous

There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes
the greater part of his life getting his living.
- Henry David Thoreau

Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles;
but today it means getting along with people.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Dalai Lama

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig

Motivation is the art of getting people to do
what you want them to do because they want to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not think that love,
in order to be genuine,
has to be extraordinary.
What we need is to love without getting tired.
- Mother Teresa

Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.
Choosing a school, choosing a career,
getting married, having kids -
all those things are scary.
If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier

Pain is a difficult companion. There's no getting around that.
But, if pain is to be a companion, searching and discovering
your own best ways to travel with that pain
will lead you to the joy that you long to have.
They are your paths, your ways and while my experience
and the experiences of others may inspire you,
ultimately it will be the choices you discover
and make for yourself that lead you to certain joy
in the midst of your challenges.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To let go means to give up coercing, resisting, or struggling,
in exchange for something more powerful and wholesome
which comes out of allowing things to be as they are
without getting caught up in your attraction to or rejection of them,
in the intrinsic stickiness of wanting, of liking and disliking.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

Going with the flow doesn't mean that we don't know where we're going;
it means that we are open to multiple ways of getting there.
Going with the flow means that we are aware of an energy
that is larger than our small selves,
and we are open to working with it, not against it.
- Madisyn Taylor

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love.
But then one suffers from not loving.
Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer;
to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love.
To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy.
Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love
or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
I hope you're getting this down.
- the movie Love and Death

In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong

Leadership is the art of getting someone else
to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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