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Funny Gardens Quotes
Funny Quotes about Gardens

Let these funny Gardens Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.
- Khalil Gibran

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous PHOTO


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Go forth, and play joyfully in the garden of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is like a beautiful flower
which I may not touch,
but whose fragrance makes the garden
a place of delight just the same.
- Helen Keller

It is better to be in chains with friends,
than to be in a garden with strangers.
- Persian Proverb


 

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

No occupation is so delightful to me as the culture of the earth,
and no culture comparable to that of the garden.
- Thomas Jefferson

Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam

Forgiveness is not a one time thing.
Forgiveness must be practiced again and again in different ways
because we may find many dimensions to the wrongs we have suffered.
Bitterness and resentment are like weeds that can continue to pop up
until we have plucked out the last plant by its roots
and extinguished the last seed.
We must carefully tend the garden of our mind and soul,
lest we be overrun by the weeds of bitterness and regret.
- Carly Foster

In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton

Everything that slows us down and forces patience,
everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature,
is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton

Gardening is all about optimism.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Gardening is all about optimism.
I put a seed in the ground.
I consistently tend it,
confident I will see the results, in time,
of the nurture I have provided.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

War is an instrument entirely inefficient
toward redressing wrong;
and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.
- Thomas Jefferson

The fibers of all things have their tension
and are strained like the strings of an instrument.
- Henry David Thoreau

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
...
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- attributed to St. Francis of Assisi

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)

Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement.
Properly understood and applied,
it is the most potent instrument of action.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The body is an instrument which
only gives off music when it is used as a body.
Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls,
so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.
- Anais Nin

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
- Winston Churchill

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur

We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy

When the war of the giants is over,
the wars of the pygmies will begin.
- Winston Churchill

We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill

When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill

There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter

When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau

The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill

If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton

We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill

The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
- Winston Churchill

If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee

A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb

We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill

When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones

Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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