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Let these funny Fortunes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Because we fear the responsibility for our actions,
we have allowed ourselves to develop the mentality of slaves.
Contrary to the stirring sentiments of the Declaration of Independence,
we now pledge "our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor"
not to one another for our mutual protection, but to the state,
whose actions continue to exploit, despoil, and destroy us.
- Butler D. Shaffer
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
- Ovid
One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life
comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.
- Robert A. Heinlein
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An ounce of conscious choice is worth a pound of good fortune.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The woman who can create her own job
is the woman who will win fame and fortune.
- Amelia Earhart
For those who are bored with life,
the path to happiness almost always comes
through service to the less-fortunate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller
Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield
It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
By letting it go it all gets done.
The world is won by those who let it go.
But when you try and try.
The world is beyond the winning.
- Lao Tzu
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu
The truly rich are those who enjoy what they have.
- Yiddish Proverb
Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is beauty and adventure in the commonplace
for those with eyes to see beyond.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw
People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves.
They have a certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism.
- Osho
There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Collective fear stimulates herd instinct,
and tends to produce ferocity toward
those who are not regarded as members of the herd.
- Bertrand Russell
Treat those who are good with goodness,
and also treat those who are not good with goodness.
Thus goodness is attained.
Be honest to those who are honest,
and be also honest to those who are not honest.
Thus honesty is attained.
- Lao Tzu
Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart,
don't know how to laugh either
- Golda Meir
Few are those who see with their own eyes
and feel with their own hearts.
- Albert Einstein
Those whom we can love, we can hate;
to others we are indifferent.
- Henry David Thoreau
Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon
Those who play with the devil's toys
will be brought by degrees to wield his sword.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill,
will return upon him with a greater violence,
and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.
- Albert Schweitzer
Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
We are masters of the unsaid words,
but slaves of those we let slip out.
- Winston Churchill
Belief fuels our decisions -
even when we are not clearly aware of those beliefs.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Those you trust the most can steal the most.
- Lawrence Lief
At the Core of Our Suffering
are those Self-Imposed Limitations (Assumptions)
of which We are Completely Unaware.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is truly known only to those who suffer,
lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.
- Anais Nin
No persons are more frequently wrong,
than those who will not admit they are wrong.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.