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Let these funny Forehead Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
The Creator has not thought proper
to mark those in the forehead
who are of stuff to make good generals.
We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold,
and then let them learn the trade
at the expense of great losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
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Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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