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Let these funny Flexibility Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
- Anonymous
A tree that is unbending, is easily broken.
- Lao Tzu
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Stay committed to your decisions,
but stay flexible in your approach.
- Tony Robbins
Nothing is softer or more flexible than water,
yet nothing can resist it.
- Lao Tzu
Be resolute in your goals,
but flexible in your tactics.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I choose to adapt to the circumstances in which I find myself.
I choose to be flexible in my dealings with those around me.
I understand that my way is not the only way -
that inner peace comes from respecting the ways of others,
and that, if I am open, I may gain great insights and happiness
from the ideas and traditions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.