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Let these funny Fishes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Don't threaten me with a dead fish.
- the movie Withnail & I (1987)
Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein
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Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish.
Do not overdo it.
- Lao Tzu
Many men go fishing all of their lives
without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
- Henry David Thoreau
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb
He that would fish, must venture his bait.
- Benjamin Franklin
Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish -
too much handling will spoil it.
- Lao Tzu
He didn't come out of my belly, but my God,
I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal,
and how he sleeps,
and the fact that he swims like a fish
because I took him to the ocean.
I'm so proud of all those things.
But he is my biggest pride.
- John Lennon
The River of Life has no judgments.
The River flows with no concept of good and bad - right and wrong.
The fields and dreams of men may be nourished by the River of Life,
or flooded and covered with silt, and the River just flows.
Men may catch fish and live on the River of Life,
or they may founder in a storm and drown, and the River just flows.
The River of Life is timeless.
It is not unchanging, but it is timeless,
and it changes in its own time.
The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Humans are essentially storytellers.
- Walter Fisher
There is no point at which you can say,
"Well, I'm successful now.
I might as well take a nap."
- Carrie Fisher
A mother is not a person to lean on,
but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
- Henry David Thoreau
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud
Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins
A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore
There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler
You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
TIME is poisonous construct of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, a loss of power,
a sense of spiritual deadness.
- Shakti Gawain
Regret is an appalling waste of time.
- Katherine Mansfield
A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin
Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal.
As spirits they belong to the eternal world,
but as animals they inhabit time.
- C. S. Lewis
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time is an untamed beast
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is our moment, this is our time.
- Bono
This is no time for ease and comfort.
It is time to dare and endure.
- Winston Churchill
There was a time when a man was so convinced
that the world was round
that he was determined to prove it.
- Ernest Holmes
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.