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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Finger Quotes
Funny Quotes about Finger

Let these funny Finger Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Ambition has one heel nailed in well,
though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.
- Lao Tzu

Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Once I knew only darkness and stillness ...
my life was without past or future ...
but a little word from the fingers of another
fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness,
and my heart leaped to the rapture of living.
- Helen Keller

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

Ambition is like love,
impatient both of delays and rivals.
- The Buddha


 

Only through experience of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared,
ambition inspired, and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous

It's stasis that kills you off in the end, not ambition.
- Bono

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experiences of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
- Thomas Jefferson

Dependence begets subservience and venality,
suffocates the germ of virtue,
and prepares fit tools for the designs of ambition.
- Thomas Jefferson

Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition.
Whether it be true or not, I can say for one
that I have no other so great as that
of being truly esteemed of my fellow men,
by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.
- Abraham Lincoln

Ambition is pitiless.
Any merit that it cannot use it finds despicable.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates

I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness.
- Anais Nin

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter

To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe

I, with a deeper instinct,
choose a man who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naive or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin

Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Women must pay for everything.
They do get more glory than men for comparable feats,
but, they also get more notoriety when they crash.
- Amelia Earhart

The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong

If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong

Many societies have educated their male children
on the simple device of teaching them not to be women.
- Margaret Mead

Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

I have thought a sufficient measure of civilization
is the influence of good women.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

Love men and women not for their strength
but their softness,
not for their fullness but their hunger,
not for their plenty but their need.
- Anais Nin
(paraphrase)

Whenever a man or women is truly inspired,
it is because the same One Universal Spirit
is doing the inspiring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin

All successful people men and women are big dreamers.
They imagine what their future could be,
ideal in every respect,
and then they work every day toward
their distant vision,
that goal or purpose.
- Brian Tracy

Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

There are practical little things in housekeeping
which no man really understands.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Man can never be a woman's equal
in the spirit of selfless service
with which nature has endowed her.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray

Too often the great decisions are originated and given form
in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated
by them that whatever of special value women
have to offer is shunted aside without expression.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it because I want to do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

The woman who can create her own job
is the woman who will win fame and fortune.
- Amelia Earhart

Obviously I faced the possibility of not returning
when first I considered going.
Once faced and settled there really wasn't
any good reason to refer to it.
- Amelia Earhart

I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie

How wrong is it for women to expect
the man to build the world she wants,
rather than set out to create it herself.
- Anais Nin

The basic discovery about any people is the discovery
of the relationship between men and women.
- Pearl S. Buck

All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women,
of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career.
Well, it has not been easy.
- Marie Curie

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
- William Shakespeare

Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate.
- Anonymous

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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