Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Fastest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
Best friends are the ones who can be the farthest away
but there the fastest when you call.
- Anonymous
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never saw a discontented tree.
They grip the ground as though they liked it,
and though fast rooted, they travel about as far as we do.
- John Muir
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Life is not about how fast you run
or how high you climb
but how well you bounce.
- Vivian Komori
History is a relentless master.
It has no present, only the past rushing into the future.
To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.
- John F. Kennedy
I hope to stand firm enough to not go backward,
and yet not go forward fast enough
to wreck the country's cause.
- Abraham Lincoln
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die,
life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
- Langston Hughes
The United States has to move very fast to even stand still.
- John F. Kennedy
Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
- Thomas Jefferson
We are composed of self-contradictions.
Each of us is loving in some moments - hateful in others.
Patient and calm sometimes - harried by urgency at others.
Understanding - and self-absorbed.
Reassuring - and sarcastic.
Generous - and greedy.
Trusting - and jealous.
Comforting - and snappish.
Original - and stuck in a rut.
Thankful - and needy.
Forgiving - and vengeful.
Nurturing ourself - and stuffing ourself with fast food.
Honoring our bodies - and overstressing.
Being Joyful - and Suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't move so fast that you try to change
the mores faster than people can accept it.
That doesn't mean you do nothing,
but it means that you do the things that
need to be done according to priority.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Trees go wandering forth in all directions with every wind,
going and coming like ourselves,
traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day,
and through space heaven knows how fast and far!
- John Muir
I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu
There is no evil and there are
no evil forces in the world.
There are only people of awareness,
and there are people who are fast asleep -
and sleep has no force.
The whole energy is in the hands of the awakened people.
And one awakened person can awaken the whole world.
One lighted candle can make millions of candles lighted
without losing it's light.
- Osho
Patience is an ever present alternative
to the mind's endemic restlessness and impatience.
Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find
lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger.
It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are
and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it.
This doesn't mean you can't hurry when you have to.
It is possible even to hurry patiently, mindfully,
moving fast because you have chosen to.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The faster you go, the shorter you are.
- Albert Einstein
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Going nowhere faster will not get you somewhere.
- Alan Cohen
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins is the one who thinks he can.
- Anonymous
Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan
Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
When someone has a strong intuitive connection,
Buddhism suggests that it's because of karma,
some past connection.
- Richard Gere
Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people dream of success
while others wake up and work hard at it.
- Anonymous
We travel, some of us forever, to seek
other states, other lives, other souls.
- Anais Nin
All this worldly wisdom was once
the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
- Henry David Thoreau
Spend some time alone every day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Capital as such is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil.
Capital in some form or other will always be needed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie
You can fool all the people some of the time,
and some of the people all the time,
but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
- Abraham Lincoln (sometimes attributed to P. T. Barnum)
There are some things you learn best in calm,
and some in storm.
- Willa Cather
Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin
He who is not everyday conquering some fear
has not learned the secret of life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thank you for visiting: Funny Fastest Quotes - Funny Quotes about Fastest.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.