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Funny Failed Quotes
Funny Quotes about Failed

Let these funny Failed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel

My great concern is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with your failure.
- Abraham Lincoln

God is not what you imagine
or what you think you understand.
If you understand you have failed.
- Saint Augustine

I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill


 

I have not failed.
I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison

Stop holding on to the past.
Release your regrets about whatever you may have done
or failed to do that turned out poorly.
Forgive others for whatever they may have done
or failed to do that cause you harm.
Declare today to be a new beginning.
Let go of the past and move on with creating
a joyful new future for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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In war as in life, it is often necessary
when some cherished scheme has failed,
to take up the best alternative open,
and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.
- Winston Churchill

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams.
Think not about your frustrations,
but about your unfulfilled potential.
Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in,
but with what it is still possible for you to do.
- Pope John XXIII

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin

Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande

Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.
- John Wooden

The probability that we may fail
in the struggle ought not to deter us
from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
- Abraham Lincoln

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett

It's not necessary to fear the prospect of failure
but to be determined not to fail.
- Jimmy Carter

All that is necessary to break the spell
of inertia and frustration is this:
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande

A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs

Failing to plan is planning to fail.
- Anonymous

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
- Anonymous

People in their handlings of affairs
often fail when they are about to succeed.
If one remains as careful at the end
as he was at the beginning,
there will be no failure.
- Lao Tzu

Every experiment, by multitudes or by individuals,
that has a sensual and selfish aim, will fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday

Those that fail to learn from history
are doomed to repeat it.
- Winston Churchill

Men are born to succeed, not to fail.
- Henry David Thoreau

Study nature, love nature,
stay close to nature. It will never fail you.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Where words fail, music speaks.
- Hans Christian Andersen

Only aim to do your duty,
and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
- Thomas Jefferson

Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln

In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous

You ARE what you do - and what you fail to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
- Robert H. Schuller

When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller

The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill

The crops were planted, tended, and harvested -
now the ground lies fallow, awaiting the new planting.
Did the year fail? I think not.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A bend in the road is not the end of the road
unless you fail to make the turn.
- Anonymous

You may be disappointed if you fail,
but you are doomed if you don't try.
- Beverly Sills

There may be times when we are powerless
to prevent injustice, but there must never
be a time when we fail to protest.
- Elie Wiesel

Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse,
and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled
in the dirt once or twice.
Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we fail to plan, we merely bob helplessly -
like a cork on the sea of life.
If we resist whatever life delivers to us,
we create untold misery for ourselves.
If we act with vision and commitment,
and then accept whatever Spirit provides,
we live a life of purpose and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice
and when they fail in this purpose
they become the dangerously structured dams
that block the flow of social progress.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Can you achieve your goals?
You can't reach your goal if you haven't
defined your goals.
And you can't succeed if you don't try -
and then pick yourself up
and try again each time you fail.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it because I want to do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
- Henry David Thoreau

Many a man fails as an original thinker
simply because his memory is too good.
- Nietzsche

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails,
and then asks you not to kill him.
- Winston Churchill

When all else fails, try thinking.
- Anonymous

Persistence prevails when all else fails.
- Anonymous

A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

Choose to adopt the attitude toward failure that sports teams do.
In each game, one team succeeds and one fails.
Then the next week they both get out and play again.
Life is also a game - with some successes and some failures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Failure does not exist.
Failure is simply someone else's opinion of how
a certain act should have been completed.
Once you believe that no act must be performed
in any specific other-directed way,
then failing becomes impossible.
- Wayne Dyer

Understand the difference between "failing,"
which each of us does often,
and "being a failure,"
which is a state of mind no one should
ever allow themself to fall into.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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