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Funny Failed Quotes
Funny Quotes about Failed

Let these funny Failed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
- Woody Allen

In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection.
So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.
- William Faulkner

As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used,
and have failed repeatedly, in real applications.
- Dave Parnas


 

I'm more comfortable with whatever's wrong with me
than my father was whenever he felt he failed or didn't
measure up to the standard he set.
- John Malkovich

God is not what you imagine
or what you think you understand.
If you understand you have failed.
- Saint Augustine

My great concern is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with your failure.
- Abraham Lincoln


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I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill

I have not failed.
I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison

I've failed over and over and over again in my life
and that is why I succeed.
- Michael Jordan

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams.
Think not about your frustrations,
but about your unfulfilled potential.
Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in,
but with what it is still possible for you to do.
- Pope John XXIII

Stop holding on to the past.
Release your regrets about whatever you may have done
or failed to do that turned out poorly.
Forgive others for whatever they may have done
or failed to do that cause you harm.
Declare today to be a new beginning.
Let go of the past and move on with creating
a joyful new future for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.
I've lost almost 300 games.
26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life.
And that is why I succeed.
- Michael Jordan

In war as in life, it is often necessary
when some cherished scheme has failed,
to take up the best alternative open,
and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.
- Winston Churchill

Social Security has never failed to pay promised benefits,
and Democrats will fight to make sure that Republicans
do not turn a guaranteed benefit into a guaranteed gamble.
- Nancy Pelosi

Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light.
Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.
- Napoleon Hill

I was a little lacking in vision as mayor -
I failed to understand the significance that housing
and the revitalization of housing means for a city.
- Henry Cisneros

President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid,
and their team have failed the American people,
and that is why their majority will soon be out the door.
- Mitt Romney

It used to be that a fellow went on the police force
when everything else failed,
but today he goes in the advertising game.
- Kin Hubbard

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off,
so I ended up doing live comedy.
- Graham Norton

Our Parliamentary system has simply failed to meet
the challenge of judicial activism.
- Stockwell Day

Mission accomplished? The mission in Iraq,
as laid out by President Bush and Vice President Cheney,
has failed.
- Robert Byrd

I failed to fulfill what should have been an interesting role.
I couldn't take their formula and bring what I had,
my humor, my ideas, and make it my own.
- Dianne Wiest

I think a failed state is the responsibility of the
people who have made that state fail,
and those are generally the people of that country.
- Lakhdar Brahimi

Our poems will have failed if our readers are not brought
by them beyond the poems.
- Muriel Rukeyser

I realized some of the pitfalls of being well-known;
it was nice if you were successful,
but it made it just that much harder to take when you failed.
- Lawrence Welk

The reason this resolution was delayed had nothing
to do with anything Karl did or failed to do.
- Robert Luskin

And most of my early pictures failed but about one
in a 100 somehow looked better than what I saw.
- Galen Rowell

There was no indication of panic.
The broken files marched back in steady step.
The effort was nobly made and failed from the blows
that could not be fended.
- James Longstreet

All legislative experiments in the way of making forcible
distribution of the wealth produced in any country have failed.
- Leland Stanford

Almost every other Western in the last ten years has failed,
since Dances with Wolves.
- Lawrence Kasdan

It's hard to believe President George Bush gave a speech
in New Orleans about disaster recovery and failed to
mention the word 'farm' or the word 'rural.'
- Jim Hightower

My first plan of escape having failed,
I now determined upon another.
- Buffalo Bill

My success was due to good luck, hard work,
and support and advice from friends and mentors.
But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed.
- Mark Warner

Working hard is great, being lazy sometimes is great,
but failed potential is the worst.
- Campbell Scott

I think it's a great thing to have failed in life and
then pulled yourself up by the boot straps and actually done something,
because then you appreciate it more.
- Shirley Manson

The savage repression of blacks, which can be estimated
by reading the obituary columns of the nation's dailies,
Fred Hampton, etc., has not failed to register on the black inmates.
- George Jackson

I tried to start a theatre in LA and failed miserably,
but I was probably not meant to raise money.
- Beth Henley

I would not wish to imply that most industrial accidents are due to intemperance.
But, certainly, temperance has never failed to reduce their number.
- William Lyon Mackenzie King

There is no loneliness like that of a failed marriage.
- Alexander Theroux

For too long the world has failed to recognise that
the Olympic Games and the Olympic Movement are about
fine athletics and fine art.
- Avery Brundage

I never failed to convince an audience that the best
thing they could do was to go away.
- Thomas Love Peacock

As long as you gave it your best shot,
even if in the opinion of others "you failed,"
you didn't fail.
- Al Lewis

I think there were early critics who wanted us to change
the world because the Sex Pistols failed.
- Michael Stipe

Education has failed in a very serious way to convey
the most important lesson science can teach:
skepticism.
- David Suzuki

It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as
it does to have tried and succeeded.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my
goal of becoming a successful executive.
- Scott Adams

Another part of the global war on terrorism that Canada
and the United States are working on together is in helping failed states,
states like Afghanistan, where people have no voice.
- Paul Cellucci

They have had three years to get a resolution and they failed.
Both of these guys have failed.
- Marcel Dionne

George Tenet has been the director of central intelligence since 1997,
time enough to have changed the Agency's culture.
He has failed.
He should go.
- Richard Perle

I love marriage.
I failed at marriage, but I'd rather go into anything
with gusto and fail than go into it half-assed.
- Kirstie Alley

General Lee, this is no place for you.
These men behind you are Georgians and Virginians.
They have never failed you and will not fail you here.
Will you boys?
- John Brown Gordon

I followed my heart and figured that if I tried and failed,
at least I'd know that I tried.
- Michelle Branch

The parallels between 9/11 and Pearl Harbor are striking.
In each instance there were warning signs before the attack,
and in each instance our government failed to connect the dots.
- Diane Watson

The reality is that we have missed a lot of opportunities
in Iraq because of a failed policy.
- Marty Meehan

Ever tried.
Ever failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail again.
Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett

Let us face it, the U.N.
has failed.
It has failed in its mission to promote world peace.
- Ginny B. Waite

The test is to recognize the mistake,
admit it and correct it.
To have tried to do something and failed is vastly
better than to have tried to do nothing and succeeded.
- Dale Turner

For years, I had heard about the lack of interest in literature in the U.S.
and I had complained about it.
I failed to understand how people could fail to be moved by art.
- Rita Dove

Marriages are under strain today in terms of economics.
There are social cross-currents.
We see failed marriages.
But it is not under attack by our gay and lesbian citizens.
- Earl Blumenauer

But the advice was not taken - Johnstone did emigrate to Canada,
and did mortgage his pension; and I fear -
though I failed to trace his after history -
that he suffered in consequence.
- Hugh Miller

Better have failed in the high aim, as I,
Than vulgarly in the low aim succeed As,
God be thanked!
I do not.
- Robert Browning Hamilton

Free love? as if love is anything but free.
Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the
world have failed to buy love.
- Emma Goldman

Negro banks, as a rule, have failed because the people,
taught that their own pioneers in business cannot function in this sphere,
withdrew their deposits.
- Carter G. Woodson

In the spirit of science, there really is no such thing
as a "failed experiment."
Any test that yields valid data is a valid test.
- Adam Savage

Yes, I am a failed playwright.
I had three shows on Broadway by the time I was 30.
They all flopped, and I fled.
- William Goldman

In early church polemics, Jews are deemed no longer
worthy of their own Scriptures because they have failed
to accept Christ as the Messiah.
- Jack Schwartz

I had to admit I'd pretty much failed at the whole low-profile thing.
- Mary Cheney

God created a number of possibilities in case some
of his prototypes failed -
that is the meaning of evolution.
- Graham Greene

If Liberia has failed, then, it is no evidence of the
failure of the Negro in government.
It is merely evidence of the failure of slavery.
- Carter G. Woodson


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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