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Funny Explanations Quotes
Funny Quotes about Explanations

Let these funny Explanations Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We are tired of aristocratic explanations in Harvard words.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Do not seek the because -
in love there is no because,
no reason, no explanation, no solutions.
- Anais Nin

On the ordinary view of each species
having been independently created,
we gain no scientific explanation.
- Charles Darwin

All other things being equal,
the simplest explanation is the most likely.
- a statement of Occam's Razor


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That which is hateful to you,
do not do to your fellow.
That is the whole Torah;
the rest is the explanation.
- Talmud (Jewish Wisdom)

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand


 

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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