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Let these funny Excluding Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Humans do have an amazing capacity
for believing what they choose,
and excluding that which is painful.
- Spock (character in Star Trek television series)
Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love
If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures
from the shelter of compassion and pity,
you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
- St. Francis of Assisi
To be admitted to Nature's hearth costs nothing.
None is excluded, but excludes himself.
You have only to push aside the curtain.
- Henry David Thoreau
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If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau
The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare
A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton
I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson
This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
- Benjamin Franklin
So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when he discovers that someone else believes in him
and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford
When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous
Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller
Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn
The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman
It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin
Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin
Better to be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu
A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.