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Funny Events Quotes
Funny Quotes about Events

Let these funny Events Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
I See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


 

Unexpected events can set you back or set you up.
It's all a matter of - perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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You never know what events are going to transpire to get you home.
- Og Mandino

Be an Observer of Life.
See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is the quality of the moment,
not the number of days, or events, or of actors, that imports.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened
told by people who weren't there.
- George Santayana

Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Whether we allow external events to
shape our lives at a core level
is very much within our own control.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust only movement.
Life happens at the level of events, not of words.
Trust movement.
- Alfred Adler

The events of the day inspired me to become a lawyer.
- Christopher Darden

Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces
that incessantly draw great events.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the power of perspective.
Be a passionate observer of life.
See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune.
For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure
in events that dismay the rest of humanity.
- Russell Baker

History is an account, mostly false,
of events,
mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers,
mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
- Ambrose Bierce

Dreaming or awake, we perceive only events that have meaning to us.
- Jane Roberts

Joy increases and suffering decreases
as one masters the distinction between events
and one's feelings about those events.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every decision you make - every decision -
is not a decision about what to do.
It's a decision about Who You Are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes.
You begin to see life in a new way.
All events, occurrences, and situations
turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself,
and know that everything in life has purpose.
There are no mistakes, no coincidences,
all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I have always been amazed at the way an ordinary observer
lends so much more credence and attaches so much more
importance to waking events than to those occurring in dreams...
Man...
is above all the plaything of his memory.
- Andre Breton

Choose the whole of your environment, things and events,
based upon the value, meaning and function they hold.
Do not allow obligation or immediacy
to bind you to physical things or specific actions.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have never experienced the practice
of daily journaling, give it a try. I highly recommend it.
When I say "journaling," I am not referring to a diary
in which to record the events of your life,
I am talking about a place to record your feelings -
a friend with whom to share your troubles, fears, hopes, and dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To consider persons and events and situations only
in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.
- Thomas Merton

I come to Fashion Week events in New York City twice a year.
- Oksana Baiul

One of the extraordinary things about human events
is that the unthinkable becomes thinkable.
- Salman Rushdie

It can hardly be denied that such a demand quite arbitrarily
limits the facts which are to be admitted as possible
causes of the events which occur in the real world.
- Friedrich August von Hayek

Take events in your life seriously, take work seriously,
but don't take yourself seriously, or you'll become affected,
pompous and boring.
- Shelley Duvall

Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the
cataclysmic events of that first Easter.
- Josh McDowell

The reporting of news has to be understood as propaganda for commodities,
and events by images.
- Christopher Lasch

But the prospects of designing chemical plants for
industrial scale chemical processes seemed far less
interesting than the chemical events that occur in biological systems.
- Paul Berg

By a museum, I assume you mean an institution dedicated to the events of Sept.
11 and the aftermath.
If that is done with sensitivity, I think it would be most appropriate.
- David Rockefeller

The SS, as such, behaved no more criminally than any
other social groups would behave when taking part in political events.
- Hans Frank

Writing for young children I find I often use particular
jokes with words and exaggerated,
funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex
stories for older children too.
- Margaret Mahy

What is important is not what someone is but what he is waiting for.
Not the events of life but its possibilities.
- Dorothee Solle

We Americans are the best informed people on earth
as to the events of the last twenty-four hours;
we are the not the best informed as the events of the last sixty centuries.
- Will Durant

If coming events are said to cast their shadows before,
past events cannot fall to leave their impress behind them.
- H. P. Blavatsky

There's a series of children's books called A Series of Unfortunate Events,
which is like an incredibly dark version of Roald Dahl.
I hope to start directing it.
- Barry Sonnenfeld

The events of childhood do not pass,
but repeat themselves like seasons of the year.
- Eleanor Farjeon

Neither current events nor history show that the majority rule,
or ever did rule.
- Jefferson Davis

Great men are rare, poets are rarer,
but the great man who is a poet,
transfiguring his greatness, is the rarest of all events.
- John Drinkwater

I am more and more convinced that our happiness or
our unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet
the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves.
- Wilhelm von Humboldt

The quality of my life has changed dramatically -
not the events -
but the way I handle them and my priorities and my sense of drama.
- Ali MacGraw

But the perception of life as an organic unity is a slow achievement,
and depends for its growth on a people's entry into
the main current of world-events.
- Muhammed Iqbal

I think that every so-called history book and film
biography should be prefaced by the statement that
what follows is the author's rendition of events and circumstances.
- Barbara Kruger

The decathlon includes ten separate events and they all matter.
You can't work on just one of them.
- Dan O'Brien

We are busy planning the launch of the channel.
I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me.
I have started producing a sound for the channel.
- Howard Stern

It says something about this new global economy that
USA Today now reports every morning on the day's events in Asian markets.
- Larry Summers

Events alone rarely provide much guide to the future.
- Walter Lord

I found myself getting more publicly shy when the gala
events and big crowds started.
Some people embrace it.
To me, it's not worth enough to risk my private life being public.
- Matt Damon

If men could regard the events of their own lives with more open minds,
they would frequently discover that they did not really
desire the things they failed to obtain.
- Andre Maurois

You can plan events, but if they go according to your
plan they are not events.
- John Berger

The shock caused by the September 11 events has also
lead to a thorough reflection on the existing disparity
between rich and poor countries,
on the misery of populations of the South.
- Omar Bongo

My life has never been easy.
It's like all the major events of my life have always been difficult.
- Florence Henderson

The rise of the Dutch Republic must ever be regarded
as one of the leading events of modern times.
- John Lothrop Motley

Don't ever become a pessimist...
a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist,
but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The sad events that occur in my life are the sad events
that happen to everybody,
with losing friends and family, but that is a natural occurrence,
as natural as being born.
- Sergio Aragones

If the September 11 terror attack is supposed to constitute
a caesura in world history,
it must be able to stand comparison to other events
of world historical impact.
- Jurgen Habermas

There are no mistakes, no coincidences.
All events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I have gratitude for EVERYTHING that has ever occurred
to bring me to this moment.
I accept that no one else is ever to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrences of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played
any role in any of the events of my life
is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Three events.
Three gold medals.
I was news, big news, in the sports world.
- Esther Williams

Happiness is not a matter of events;
it depends upon the tides of the mind.
- Alice Meynell

And I realized that there was no sports reporter,
so I started covering sporting events.
- Ed Bradley

The wonderful thing about television is the immediate
impact of pictures of current events.
- Will McDonough

True valor, on virtue founded strong,
meets all events alike.
- David Mallet


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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