Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Erased Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson
Each man is the architect of his own fate.
- Appius Claudius
Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor
The architect must be a prophet...
a prophet in the true sense of the term...
if he can't see at least ten years ahead don't call him an architect.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The architect should strive continually to simplify;
the ensemble of the rooms should then be carefully considered
that comfort and utility may go hand in hand with beauty.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A great architect is not made by way of a brain
nearly so much as he is made by way
of a cultivated, enriched heart.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Every great architect is - necessarily - a great poet.
He must be a great original interpreter
of his time, his day, his age.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
Thank you for visiting: Funny Erased Quotes - Funny Quotes about Erased.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.