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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Engraved Quotes
Funny Quotes about Engraved

Let these funny Engraved Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What you leave behind is not what
is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others.
- Pericles

When I die India will be found engraved on my heart.
- Queen Mary


 

Every suggested idea produces a corresponding physical reaction.
Every idea constantly repeated ends by being engraved upon the brain,
provoking the act which corresponds to that idea.
- Scott Reed

If the great Government of the United States were a
private corporation no bank would take its name on a piece of paper,
because it has cynically repudiated the words engraved upon its bonds.
- Garet Garrett

When freedom does not have a purpose,
when it does not wish to know anything about the rule
of law engraved in the hearts of men and women,
when it does not listen to the voice of conscience,
it turns against humanity and society.
- Pope John Paul II


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The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells,
but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant.
- Karl Kraus

Time engraves our faces with all the tears we have not shed.
- Natalie Clifford Barney

I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell,
unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy
Scriptures and engraving them in the heart of the youth.
- Martin Luther

You know you can get gaudy with something,
and they didn't do that.
To me, I think it's very tasteful, well done,
with the silver and gold and the engraving.
I think it's very tasteful.
- Earl Scruggs

The graceful Georgian streets and squares,
a series of steel engravings under a wet sky.
- Shana Alexander

Like a Dolphin, I am Graceful, Powerful, and Compassionate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman

We require from buildings two kinds of goodness:
first,
the doing their practical duty well:
then that they be graceful and pleasing in doing it.
- John Ruskin

Nobility is a graceful ornament to the civil order.
It is the Corinthian capital of polished society.
- Edmund Burke

Elves have this superhuman strength,
yet they're so graceful.
Tolkien created them to be angelic spirits,
but I also saw Legolas as something out of the Seven Samurai.
- Orlando Bloom

All the gestures of children are graceful;
the reign of distortion and unnatural attitudes commences
with the introduction of the dancing master.
- Joshua Reynolds

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed
to produce a graceful result.
- Tommy Armour

I copied my brother.
He was a natural dancer.
Graceful.
People always asked did we study ballet.
We never did.
- Harold Nicholas

The sweat of hard work is not to be displayed.
It is much more graceful to appear favored by the gods.
- Maxine Hong Kingston

Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind,
Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute,
Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise,
Tell me I'm perfect - But tell me the truth.
- Shel Silverstein

A graceful and honorable old age is the childhood of immortality.
- Pindar

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.
- Louis Nizer

Every crag and gnarled tree and lonely valley has its
own strange and graceful legend attached to it.
- Douglas Hyde

The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high
and graceful when it is low.
- Richard Carlson

I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary,
but graceful and sophisticated.
- Brian P. Cleary

Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore;
not because they are pretty,
or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent,
but because they are themselves.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

In ambition, as in love, the successful can afford
to be indulgent toward their rivals.
The prize our own, it is graceful to recognize the
merit that vainly aspired to it.
- Christian Nestell Bovee

Few men of action have been able to make a graceful
exit at the appropriate time.
- Malcolm Muggeridge

Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and
awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.
- Drew Barrymore

Elves are like trees, grounded and focused from the
trunk down but graceful and agile on top.
- Orlando Bloom

I have a hat.
It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity,
as if I were attending a state funeral or something.
Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it,
instead of carrying it.
- Erma Bombeck

The mare set off for home with the speed of a swallow,
and going as smoothly and silently.
I never had dreamed of such a motion,
fluent and graceful, and ambient, soft as the breeze
flitting over the flowers,
but swift as the summer lightening.
- Richard Blackmore

The artist is the confidant of nature,
flowers carry on dialogues with him through the graceful
bending of their stems and the harmoniously tinted
nuances of their blossoms.
Every flower has a cordial word which nature directs towards him.
- Auguste Rodin

The story was such that I couldn't make a graceful
ending and then make a graceful new beginning.
I could have, but I didn't want to.
So, it isn't the most graceful way of writing a story.
This new story is, I think, is pretty good stuff.
I'm pleased with it anyway.
- Jack Vance

Being a former dancer, classical dancer,
it informed me as a human being just in terms of the grace I guess.
Ballet is a very graceful form of art.
You also become very aware of your body and your mind
and your body is working in conjunction.
That kind of helps you in acting as well.
It's not only using your mind, it's like making your
mind communicate this character into your body so that
you can bring it to life and physicalize it.
- Zoe Saldana

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender,
but you don't have a top for it.
- Jerry Seinfeld

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I like marriage.
The idea.
- Toni Morrison

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Fred Allen

I like children - fried.
- W. C. Fields

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.