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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny English Quotes
Funny Quotes about English

Let these funny English Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

We have always found the Irish a bit odd.
They refuse to be English.
- Winston Churchill

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges


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If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

FEAR is an acronym in the English language
for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
- Neale Donald Walsch

One of the greatest cause of unhappiness -
perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison.
I remember as a young child hearing my mother say,
"Comparisons are odious."
That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language,
and one of the most important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.
- English Proverb

Comparisons are odious.
- old English Proverb

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

The most important outcome of education
is to help students become independent of formal education.
- Paul E. Gray

The greatest and most important problems of life
are all fundamentally insoluble.
They can never be solved but only outgrown.
- Carl Jung

I'm so glad I never feel important, it does complicate life!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is not what we choose that is important;
it is the reason we choose it.
- Carolyn Myss

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell

Confidence is the most important thing,
more important than gold or currency.
- Wen Jiabao

Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.
- Abraham Lincoln

The truth is more important than the facts.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Remember that nurturing yourself is as important
(if not more so) as nurturing others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

How different our lives are when we
really know what is deeply important to us,
and keeping that picture in mind,
we manage ourselves each day
to be and to do what really matters most
- Stephen Covey

It is important to do what you don't know how to do.
It is important to see your skills as keeping you
from learning what is deepest and most mysterious.
If you know how to focus, unfocus.
If your tendency is to make sense out of chaos, start chaos.
- Carlos Castaneda

Nearly everything you do is of no importance,
but it is important that you do it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain.
To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid.
- Carlos Castaneda

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Confidence is the most important single factor in this game,
and no matter how great your natural talent,
there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.
- Jack Nicklaus

All major religious traditions
carry basically the same message,
that is love, compassion and forgiveness.
The important thing is they should
be part of our daily lives.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people
who have kept on trying
when there seemed to be no hope at all.
- Dale Carnegie

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

It seems essential, in relationships and all tasks,
that we concentrate only
on what is most significant and important.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters
cannot be trusted with important matters.
- Albert Einstein

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The spirit of man is more important than mere physical strength,
and the spiritual fiber of a nation than its wealth.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Know that you are a gift to the world.
Your life is important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is far more important to be able to hit the target
than it is to haggle over who makes a weapon or who pulls a trigger.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Priorities - what's really important -
health, and doing what one wants to do -
it's certainly not money.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An idea that is developed and put into action
is more important than
an idea that exists only as an idea.
- The Buddha

Courage is not the absence of fear,
but rather the judgement that something else
is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be alert. The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a fine thing to be honest,
but it is also very important to be right.
- Winston Churchill

It's fine to celebrate success
but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.
- Bill Gates

Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never give up on the most important goals in your life.
Never give up on your life purpose.
Never give up on your core values.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Henry David Thoreau

Now there is one outstanding important fact regarding spaceship earth,
and that is that no instruction book came with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

One important key to success is self-confidence.
An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
- Arthur Ashe

Sometimes, our family's most important job
is reminding us how unimportant we are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Knowledge is limited.
Imagination encircles the world.
- Albert Einstein

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you do may seem insignificant to you,
but it is most important that you do it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Believe in yourself. Dream big dreams.
Set important goals. Take action on those goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
- Albert Einstein

Important ideas can come from unexpected places.
We tend to label people - Genius, Idiot,
Socialist, Regressive, Wingnut, Revolutionary, Terrorist.
But it is helpful to remind ourselves to be open
to good ideas - whatever their source.
It is equally important to avoid accepting any idea
merely because we respect that person's
other ideas or accomplishments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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