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Let these funny Emergencies Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Respond to emergencies in a casual manner.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Life is NOT a constant emergency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Though force can protect in emergency,
only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation
can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Having seen the devastation of war first hand,
Eisenhower came both to despise war
and to see that "war settles nothing."
On the other hand, Ike was certainly no peacenik.
He understood that, in an emergency,
action must be met with reaction.
When truly necessary, violence met with violence -
but never hate responded to with hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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My ideas have undergone a process
of emergence by emergency.
When they are needed badly enough,
they are accepted.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.