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Let these funny Election Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
From one point of view, one individual's vote
doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
The probability of an election swinging
by a single vote is infinitesimal.
On the other hand, if everybody took the attitude
that voting didn't matter, there could never
be a democratically elected government - at all.
So, does your vote matter? You bet your vote matters.
And, at least as much as your vote matters,
your intention for the future of the world matters.
That's so important, it's worth saying again.
At Least As Much As Your Vote Matters,
Your Intention For The Future Of The Entire World Matters.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin
No part of the education of a politician is more indispensable
than the fighting of elections.
- Winston Churchill
If the United States of America or Britain is having elections,
they don't ask for observers from Africa or from Asia.
But when we have elections, they want observers.
- Nelson Mandela
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A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I am firm; YOU are obstinate; HE is a pig-headed fool.
- Bertrand Russell
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.
- Carl Jung
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes.
He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.
- Chinese Proverb
My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool;
it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question
than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
- Bruce Lee
You can fool all the people some of the time,
and some of the people all the time,
but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
- Abraham Lincoln (sometimes attributed to P. T. Barnum)
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman
No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong
If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens,
you can never regain their respect and esteem.
It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time;
you can even fool some of the people all of the time;
but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
- Abraham Lincoln
The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley
A fool is one who goes on trusting;
a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience.
You deceive him, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you.
Then you will say that he is a fool, he does not learn.
His trust is tremendous; his trust is
so pure that nobody can corrupt it.
Be a fool in the Taoist sense, in the Zen sense.
Don't try to create a wall of knowledge around you.
Whatsoever experience comes to you,
let it happen, and then go on dropping it.
Go on cleaning your mind continuously;
go on dying to the past so you remain in the present here-now,
as if just born, just a babe.
- Osho
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.