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Funny Egotism Quotes
Funny Quotes about Egotism

Let these funny Egotism Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

If the egotist is weak, his egotism is worthless.
If the egotist is strong, acute, full of distinctive character,
his egotism is precious, and remains a possession of the race.
- Alexander Smith

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not,
as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism.
- Robert Frost

The student who deceives himself into thinking that
he is giving his life like an ascetic in the spirit of sacrifice for art,
is the victim of a deplorable species of egotism.
- Alma Gluck


 

Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
- Ambrose Bierce

If some really acute observer made as much of egotism
as Freud has made of sex,
people would forget a good deal about sex and find
the explanation for everything in egotism.
- Wallace Stevens

Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken nonentity.
- Barbara Stanwyck


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The worst disease which can afflict business executives in their work is not,
as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism.
- Harold S. Geneen

Egotism: The art of seeing in yourself what others cannot see.
- George V. Higgins

If egotism means a terrific interest in one's self,
egotism is absolutely essential to efficient living.
- Arnold Bennett

Egotism is the source and summary of all faults and miseries.
- Thomas Carlyle

Intolerance is a form of egotism, and to condemn egotism
intolerantly is to share it.
- George Santayana

If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others,
his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment,
or an enlarged egotism.
- Erich Fromm

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
- Frank Leahy

Point me out the happy man and I will point you out either egotism,
selfishness, evil - or else an absolute ignorance.
- Graham Greene

Egotism is not a good quality.
It's not something to be admired or even tolerated.
It wouldn't be tolerated in a field commander and it
shouldn't be tolerated in a movie director.
- John Milius

Intolerance is the most socially acceptable form of egotism,
for it permits us to assume superiority without personal boasting.
- Sydney J. Harris

Yes, forget your weakness, whatever that weakness may be.
It is egotism, it is selfishness after.
all, for it is a dwelling on self.
Forget your weakness; and remember your strength.
- Joseph Barber Lightfoot

Sensitiveness is closely allied to egotism;
and excessive sensibility is only another name for
morbid self-consciousness.
The cure for tender sensibilities is to make more of
our objects and less of our selves.
- Christian Nestell Bovee

It has always seemed strange to me...
the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity,
openness, honesty, understanding and feeling,
are the concomitants of failure in our system.
And those traits we detest, sharpness,
greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest,
are the traits of success.
And while men admire the quality of the first they
love the produce of the second.
- John Steinbeck

Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill

Friends are God's apology for relations.
- Hugh Kingsmille

A stiff apology is a second insult...
The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged;
he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

I don't ask for an apology because it's only tomorrow's fish-and-chip paper.
- Tracey Emin

Maturity is the ability to reap without apology and
not complain when things don't go well.
- Jim Rohn

If Bush said just once: 'Boy.
I hope you accept my apology as a country,'
or showed some humanity.
- Burt Bacharach

Cheyenne Autumn was received not too successfully.
I still think it was a very good movie.
It was kinda Ford's apology for the way he had treated
Indians in his past pictures.
- Richard Widmark

I got bad calls every match, and I never got an apology.
So I thought it was rather strange.
- Ivan Lendl

An apology? Bah!
Disgusting!
Cowardly!
Beneath the dignity of any gentleman,
however wrong he might be.
- Steve Martin

A hero is someone we can admire without apology.
- Kitty Kelley

The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.
- Red Auerbach

Our systems, perhaps, are nothing more than an unconscious apology for our faults,
a gigantic scaffolding whose object is to hide from us our favorite sin.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

An apology might help, but you can change your life without one.
- Robin Quivers

I want to express my deepest apology to the athletes,
the people of Salt Lake City in Utah and the millions
of citizens worldwide who love and respect the games.
- Juan Antonio Samaranch

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard,
he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
- Jay Leno

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that
we have heard one side of the case.
God has written all the books.
- Samuel Butler

First off, I'm not a scientist, and I make no apology for that.
- Christopher Shays

An apology for the actions of some troops who,
of course, are not representative of the majority of the armed forces here,
I think that would have been useful and it would have helped to some extent.
- Adnan Pachachi

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy.
But Clinton now is working very hard.
He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese.
And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.
- David Letterman

I had innumerable analysts who came to me in apology
that the world that we were finding was not the world
that they had thought existed and that they had estimated.
Reality on the ground differed in advance.
- David Kay

I rise today to offer a formal and heartfelt apology
to all the victims of lynching in our history,
and for the failure of the United States Senate to
take action when action was most needed.
- George Allen

It will never do to plead sin as an excuse for sin,
or to attempt to justify sinful acts by pleading that we have an evil heart.
This instead of being a valid apology,
is the very ground of our condemnation.
- Archibald Alexander

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I like food.
I like eating.
And I don't want to deprive myself of good food.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

If you are ever at a loss to support a flagging conversation,
introduce the subject of eating.
- Leigh Hunt

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
- Denis Leary

Some people are willing to pay the price and it's the
same with staying healthy or eating healthy.
There's some discipline involved.
There's some sacrifices.
- Mike Ditka

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
- Truman Capote

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
- Peter De Vries

Eating without conversation is only stoking.
- Marcelene Cox

I don't go long without eating.
I never starve myself: I grab a healthy snack.
- Vanessa Hudgens

If I like myself at this weight, then this is what I'm going to be.
I don't have an eating disorder.
- Courteney Cox

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup,
only less filling.
- Dave Barry

Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating
only the top half of each slice.
- Barbra Streisand

Maybe there is no actual place called hell.
Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents
breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
- Jim Carrey

The only think I like better than talking about Food is eating.
- John Walters

Childhood obesity is best tackled at home through improved parental involvement,
increased physical exercise, better diet and restraint from eating.
- Bob Filner

I started dieting.
I dieted, dieted, dieted and tried all the diets and
I would lose and then I would go back to normal eating
and would put it on and then some.
- Suzanne Somers

We love to be with our family and friends and I can
tell you that lots of eating will be involved.
- Julia Barr

Food can become such a point of anxiety -
not because it's food,
but just because you have anxiety.
That's how eating disorders develop.
- Vanessa Carlton

You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his
way of eating jellybeans.
- Ronald Reagan

It's true, you can never eat a pet you name.
And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.
- Alexander Theroux

If we gave up eating beef we would have roughly 20
to 30 times more land for food than we have now.
- James Lovelock

Cereal eating is almost a marker for a healthy lifestyle.
It sets you up for the day, so you don't overeat.
- Bruce Barton

You see people who have been very heavy in their life
who have taken that body,
trimmed it down, firmed it up through discipline,
exercise and being able to say no.
Eating properly, that all comes into it.
- Mike Ditka

Our society's strong emphasis on dieting and self-image
can sometimes lead to eating disorders.
We know that more than 5 million Americans suffer from eating disorders,
most of them young women.
- Tipper Gore

So, when it comes to eating healthy,
it's just doing the right thing.
And it's not something you have to do 365 days a year,
but I think it's something you have to do 25 days a month.
Let's put it that way.
- Mike Ditka

When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being,
and remain conscious - and you are meditating.
And then meditation is not separate from life.
- Osho

The Establishment center...
has led us into the stupidest and cruelest war in all history.
That war is a moral and political disaster -
a terrible cancer eating away at the soul of our nation.
- George McGovern


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