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Let these funny Eats Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields
The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
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Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb
By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Worthless people live only to eat and drink;
people of worth eat and drink only to live.
- Socrates
Eat to live, and not live to eat.
- Benjamin Franklin
The people are hungry:
It is because those in authority
eat up too much in taxes.
- Lao Tzu
Make yourself sheep and the wolves will eat you.
- Benjamin Franklin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile,
hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston Churchill
When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being,
and remain conscious - and you are meditating.
And then meditation is not separate from life.
- Osho
Do the small things of life with a relaxed awareness.
When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being.
- Osho
The Sweetest Strawberry:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger.
He fled, the tiger after him.
Coming to a precipice,
he caught hold of the root of a wild vine
and swung himself over the edge.
The tiger sniffed at him from above.
Trembling, the man looked down to where,
far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.
Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black,
little by little started to gnaw away the vine.
The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him.
Grasping the vine with one hand,
he plucked the strawberry with the other.
How sweet it tasted.
- Zen Koan
We never repent of having eaten too little.
- Thomas Jefferson
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
You never can tell with bees.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.