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Let these funny Earliest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When I hear music, I fear no danger.
I am invulnerable. I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
- Henry David Thoreau
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
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The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions
Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou
Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin
An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
- Henry David Thoreau
Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha
When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain
Learn to be calm and you will always be happy.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous
Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The supreme happiness of life
is the conviction of being loved for yourself,
or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.
- Victor Hugo
Take risks: if you win, you will be happy;
if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous
The happiness of one's own heart alone
cannot satisfy the soul;
one must try to include,
as necessary to one's own happiness,
the happiness of others.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer
To leave the world a bit better ...
to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
- e. e. cummings
Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Be happy for this moment.
This moment is your life.
- Anonymous
Angry and happy don't mix.
Flush out the angry,
and the happy has a place to put down roots.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin;
what else does a man need to be happy?
- Albert Einstein
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
- Anonymous
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know:
the only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A happy life consists not in the absence,
but in the mastery of hardships.
- Helen Keller
Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
- Abraham Lincoln
If thou wilt make a man happy,
add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.
- Epicurus
What are the proper grounds for joy?
Is it circumstance which will
determine the stature of my spirit?
Ah, no. It is choice. It is always a choice -
in the face of any event - for joy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
We deem those happy, who from the experience of life
have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- Carl Jung
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
The way to happiness is what I call Zero-Based Gratitude.
Each day be happy and grateful for what you have,
independent of yesterday and of other people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It costs you nothing to make another happy -
and you gain your true self through the act of spreading joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.