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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Earlier Quotes
Funny Quotes about Earlier

Let these funny Earlier Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb


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The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions


 

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou

Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin

An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
- Henry David Thoreau

Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho

When I hear music, I fear no danger.
I am invulnerable. I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
- Henry David Thoreau

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We only see what we want to see,
and hear what we want to hear
- don Miguel Ruiz

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.
- Ram Dass

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear,
and the blind can see.
- Mark Twain

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius

I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.
- Chinese proverb

From far beyond this life,
I hear the call.
From place beyond all place,
I feel the call.
From time before all time,
I know the call.
From one before all ones,
I am the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just watch this moment, without trying to change it at all.
What is happening? What do you feel?
What do you see? What do you hear?
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are
and then wait to hear the answer.
- Anonymous

Being wakeful in each and every moment of your life is meditation.
The simplest definition of meditation is:
when seeing, just see; when hearing, just hear.
- Josh Baran

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care
for people will hear them and be influenced
by them for good or ill.
- The Buddha

It takes two to speak the truth:
one to speak, and another to hear.
- Henry David Thoreau

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

You don't love someone for their looks,
or their clothes, or for their fancy car,
but because they sing a song only you can hear.
- Anonymous

The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard,"
I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?
- Sydney Harris

Everyone who wills, can hear the inner voice.
It is within everyone.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When I hear "you have to...",
I say that there is nothing I "HAVE TO" do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you can speak what you will never hear,
if you can write what you will never read,
you have done rare things.
- Henry David Thoreau

When people hear good music,
it makes them homesick for
something they never had,
and never will have.
- Edgar Watson Howe

In silence you hear who you are becoming.
You create yourself.
- Jewel

We shall find peace. We shall hear angels.
We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
- Anton Chekhov

We Learn...
10% of what we read,
20% of what we hear,
30% of what we see,
50% of what we see and hear,
70% of what we discuss,
80% of what we experience,
95% of what we teach others.
- William Glasser

Let us be silent, that we may
hear the whispers of the gods.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What you do speaks so loudly
that I cannot hear what you say.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.
Perhaps this person will never
be disappointed or disillusioned;
perhaps she won't suffer the way
people do when they have a dream to follow.
But when the person looks back -
and at some point everyone look back -
she will hear her heart, saying,
"What have you done with the miracles
that God planted in your days?
What have you done with the talents
God bestowed on you?"
- Paulo Coelho

May God grant you always...
A sunbeam to warm you,
a moonbeam to charm you,
a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you.
Laughter to you.
Faithful friends near you.
And whenever you pray,
Heaven to hear you.
- Irish Blessing

You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw,
hear what you heard, feel what you felt.
Relevant detail, couched in concrete,
colorful language, is the best way
to recreate the incident as it happened
and to picture it for the audience.
- Dale Carnegie

I offer you peace.
I offer you love.
I offer you friendship.
I see your beauty.
I hear your need.
I feel your feelings.
My wisdom flows from the Highest Source.
I salute that Source in you.
Let us work together for unity and love.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There are choirs singing in your head.
If you listen, you will hear the music.
It is the song of angels.
Pay no attention to the sounds of the world.
They are just noises, and even when
added up all together
they have no value, make no sense.
Strain to hear the song of angels.
Listen to the melody within your soul.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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