Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Funny Driver Quotes
Funny Quotes about Driver

Let these funny Driver Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill

The postman wants an autograph.
The cab driver wants a picture.
The waitress wants a handshake.
Everyone wants a piece of you.
- John Lennon

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive;
easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
- Henry Peter Brougham

I welcome change. I drive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Drive into your future looking at the open road ahead
rather than into the rear-view mirror of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Drive Change, don't wait for change to drive you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
- Albert Einstein

Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head,
and knows not that it brings abundance
to drive away the hunger.
- Saint Basil

Don't let the past drive life - choose life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins

A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein

The mind constantly chatters.
That chatter winds up being the force
that drives us much of the day in terms of what we do,
what we react to, and how we feel.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Constant development is the law of life,
and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas
in order to appear consistent
drives himself into a false position.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat,
for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator,
while the wolf denounces him for the same act
as the destroyer of liberty,
especially as the sheep was a black one.
Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed
upon a definition of the word liberty;
and precisely the same difference
prevails today among us human creatures
- Abraham Lincoln

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow

Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)

I have been driven many times to my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me,
seemed insufficient for the day.
- Abraham Lincoln

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

Driving me away is easier than saying goodbye.
- Erica Jong

Water is the driving force of all nature.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


Thank you for visiting: Funny Driver Quotes - Funny Quotes about Driver.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.