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Let these funny Dotted Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop,
striped and dotted with continents and islands,
flying through space with other stars
all singing and shining together as one,
the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty.
- John Muir
I ride my blue polka-dot horse through the byways of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
I ride the storm - cheering wildly.
I gather strength from the storm.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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My wish is to ride the tempest, tame the waves.
- Trieu Thi Trinh
Hitch a Ride on the River of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Ride the storm. Cheer wildly.
Gather strength from life's storms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a grand adventure - enjoy the ride.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.
- Gary Allen
A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Love doesn't make the world go 'round,
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
- Franklin P. Jones
Ride With the Devil.
- Jewel
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey
There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability,
but comes through continuous struggle.
And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom.
A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Don't underestimate your abilities,
that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited
Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.