Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Funny Distinction Quotes
Funny Quotes about Distinction

Let these funny Distinction Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha

The distinction between the past, present and future
is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
- Albert Einstein

Joy increases and suffering decreases
as one masters the distinction between events
and one's feelings about those events.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We may consider each generation as a distinct nation,
with a right, by the will of its majority,
to bind themselves, but none to
bind the succeeding generation,
more than the inhabitants of another country.
- Thomas Jefferson


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


In this world, the greatest courage is to drop the mind aside.
The bravest man is who can see the world
without the barrier of the mind, just as it is.
It is tremendously different, utterly beautiful.
There is nobody who is inferior and there is nobody who is superior -
there are no distinctions.
- Osho

Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields


 

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Thank you for visiting: Funny Distinction Quotes - Funny Quotes about Distinction.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.