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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Distance Quotes
Funny Quotes about Distance

Let these funny Distance Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


 

Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not.
- Bono

Laughter gives us distance.
It allows us to step back from an event,
deal with it and then move on.
- Bob Newhart

A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
together forever and never apart,
maybe in distance, but never in heart.
- Anonymous


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Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Put some distance between yourself
and whatever is concerning you.
Distance in space or time
always creates a new perspective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship
of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.
- Robert Southey

The human voice can never reach the distance
that is covered by the still small voice of conscience.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Real love is never a selfish emotion.
If you want something from someone -
especially if that something is sex -
what you are feeling is not true love.
True love is about wanting happiness for the person you love -
and not about seeking happiness for yourself.
Fortunately, in most cases our own loving presence
is the greatest gift we can give to a person we love.
Nonetheless, the litmus test of love is knowing
we would choose never to see that person again
if we believed that distance would bring them greater happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell

The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung

Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard

I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo

Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.
- Paul Tournier

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias

There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Trust in the Light.
Darkness is not a force -
it is merely the absence of light.
Observe that when a light is brought to a dark place,
the darkness disappears.
Sadness is similar -
when joy is brought to suffering,
the sadness disappears.
Open yourself to the Light!
Hold back nothing,
Trust in the Light.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature.
- Helen Keller

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous,
there's really nothing to lose.
- Jewel

Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.