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Funny Dishonesty Quotes
Funny Quotes about Dishonesty

Let these funny Dishonesty Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal


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I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill


 

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard

I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J

I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono

I believe that a man is the strongest soldier
for daring to die unarmed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I don't believe in wishful thinking.
- Bono

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not believe that God has
imposed suffering upon anyone
to punish them or to teach them a lesson.
- Ernest Holmes

Believe you can - and then make it happen.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities.
Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale

I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing
was to add to the sum of accurate information in the world.
- Margaret Mead

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is always better to have no ideas than false ones;
to believe nothing, than to believe what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson

Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

If you believe that a task will be difficult, it will be -
and you will have suffered with worry beforehand.
Approach life with joy and optimism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles

Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel

I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

I don't believe in killing whatever the reason!
- John Lennon

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right.
Men will believe what they see.
- Henry David Thoreau

As you discover your daily good,
and believe in it, and think about it,
expect it to continue.
- Ernest Holmes

To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes

Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau

I do not believe in immortality of the individual,
and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern
with no superhuman authority behind it.
- Albert Einstein

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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