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Let these funny Dishonest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
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Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Treat those who are good with goodness,
and also treat those who are not good with goodness.
Thus goodness is attained.
Be honest to those who are honest,
and be also honest to those who are not honest.
Thus honesty is attained.
- Lao Tzu
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
- Thomas Jefferson
Only good comes from being honest and true.
Only harm and suffering come from falsehood.
It doesn't always feel as if good comes from truth and honesty,
but, in the long run, it does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
There are some things you learn best in calm,
and some in storm.
- Willa Cather
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Success often grows best in the fertile soil of failure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do your best, and always accept life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Experience is the best teacher.
- Proverb
Read the best books first,
or you may not have a chance to read them at all.
- Henry David Thoreau
The best way to find yourself
is to lose yourself
in the service of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The best relationship is one in which
your love for each other
exceeds your need for each other.
- Anonymous
One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe
I do my best and accept life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Success has a simple formula:
do your best, and people may like it.
- Sam Ewing
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.