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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Dirt Quotes
Funny Quotes about Dirt

Let these funny Dirt Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Confession of errors is like a broom
which sweeps away the dirt
and leaves the surface brighter and clearer.
I feel stronger for confession.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse,
and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled
in the dirt once or twice.
Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,
the ocean does not become dirty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

This physical world is to our imagination as ice is to water -
pure water forms pure ice - dirty water forms dirty ice.
Consider how much easier it is to purify water before it freezes
than it is to chip the impurities from the solid ice.
So also, it is much easier to purify your thoughts
before they manifest into physical reality,
than to try to cut the cancerous impurities from solid reality
after you have manifested your thoughts into physical form.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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