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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Dilemmas Quotes
Funny Quotes about Dilemmas

Let these funny Dilemmas Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz PHOTO

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall


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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde


 

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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