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Funny Despair Quotes
Funny Quotes about Despair

Let these funny Despair Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice,
more drunkards than thirst,
and perhaps as many suicides as despair.
- The Buddha

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman


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My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson

We cannot despair of humanity,
since we ourselves are human beings.
- Albert Einstein

When you find your path, you must not be afraid.
You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
Disappointment, defeat, and despair are
the tools God uses to show us the way.
- Paulo Coelho


 

And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be we're all okay,
and not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
I won't be idle with despair,
I will gather myself around my faith.
Light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel

When I despair, I remember that all through history
the way of truth and love has always won.
There have been tyrants and murderers and
for a time they seem invincible,
but in the end, they always fall ... think of it, always.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To state the facts frankly
is not to despair the future nor indict the past.
The prudent heir takes careful inventory of his legacies
and gives a faithful accounting
to those whom he owes an obligation of trust.
- John F. Kennedy

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912

It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil.
If they would only expend the same
amount of energy loving their fellow men,
the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui.
- Helen Keller

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias

You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
- Alan Alda

Not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Dalai Lama

Appreciation is a wonderful thing.
It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
- Voltaire

Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson

Life is lived in the mists -
little is fully visible, less is certain.
Yet rejoice in the unknowing,
and let all of life be a wonderful adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

To the lover of wilderness,
Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.
- John Muir

It is wonderful to have Faith,
but don't confuse trust with being gullible.
Balance trust with conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I awakened. is that not a wonderful statement?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

I say all that happens is wonderful.
- Anais Nin

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The marvelous richness of human experience
would lose something of rewarding joy
if there were no limitations to overcome.
The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful
if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
- Helen Keller

Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Smile.
Today would be a wonderful day
not to take life so seriously.
Today may end up the way you prefer -
and it may not.
Happiness is not about being a winner -
it's about being gentle with life -
being gentle with yourself.
Let life be a dance,
and choose the kind of
dance you want for today -
perhaps a gentle loving dance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say.
Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful:
he makes saints out of sinners.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Today is a unique and special day.
It is unlike any other day you have ever experienced.
If you assume that today is like every other day,
you will never notice today's uniqueness.
If you practice keen awareness, you will get
to savor today's uniquely wonderful qualities.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Plant trees for your great-grandchildren -
for future generations.
Create the legacy of a better world.
Leave this world a better place than you found it.
Literally planting trees for
your great-grandchildren is a wonderful idea,
but far more important...
use this symbolism - this imagery -
to represent the kind of legacy
you want to leave to future generations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Great relationships begin with two people who are each
self confident and who come to each other with the openness
to see and accept the other as a unique and wonderful person.
If there is true love and an alignment of fundamental values,
choose to join your life with your new partner
and vow never to criticize their nature -
the essence that makes them uniquely themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's wonderful to climb the liquid mountains of the sky.
Behind me and before me is God, and I have no fears.
- Helen Keller

It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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