Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Describe Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein
"Beginner Mind" is a Zen Buddhist term
that describes moving past our assumptions
of the nature of our life,
and really SEEING our surroundings -
especially the people we interact with -
with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each of us holds a different image of God.
There are as many perspectives on
the nature of God as there are people.
However much any of us may choose to argue,
or to fight and kill, for our point of view,
the nature of God is an unanswerable question.
Perhaps there is a specific answer,
that we will never learn - in this lifetime.
Perhaps the nature of God is so complex and multifaceted
that each view of God describes an aspect of the complex whole.
Or perhaps the nature of God is actually defined by our beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
All these primary impulses,
not easily described in words,
are the springs of man's actions.
- Albert Einstein
Every natural fact is a symbol of some spiritual fact.
Every appearance in nature corresponds to some state of the mind,
and that state of the mind can only be described
by presenting that natural appearance as its picture.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono
The movie character Forrest Gump describing life
as being "like a box of chocolates,"
is such a positive upbeat way of
characterizing the uncertainty of life.
I have no idea what life will give me next,
but whatever it is, it will be sweet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
What we've got here is failure to communicate.
- the movie Cool Hand Luke
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
- the movie Tangled (2010)
Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary (2001)
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
It happens - Sometimes.
- the movie Forrest Gump
The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Don't threaten me with a dead fish.
- the movie Withnail & I (1987)
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake.
- the movie The Little Mermaid (1989)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Thank you for visiting: Funny Describe Quotes - Funny Quotes about Describe.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.