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Let these funny Deliberate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The people themselves, and not their servants,
can safely reverse their own deliberate decisions.
- Abraham Lincoln
How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
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Meditation is neither shutting things out nor off.
It is seeing things clearly,
and deliberately positioning yourself differently in relationship to them.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life,
and see if I could not learn what it had to teach,
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
- Henry David Thoreau
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright
The grand aim of all science is to cover
the greatest number of empirical facts
by logical deduction from
the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
- Albert Einstein
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.