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Funny Decisions Quotes
Funny Quotes about Decisions

Let these funny Decisions Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Belief fuels our decisions -
even when we are not clearly aware of those beliefs.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Humans make illogical decisions.
- Spock (character in Star Trek movies and TV shows)

The people themselves, and not their servants,
can safely reverse their own deliberate decisions.
- Abraham Lincoln

All decisions and all actions
(and inactions) have consequences -
not rightness or wrongness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to
remember seven generations in the past and
consider seven generations in the future
when making decisions that affect the people.
- Wilma Mankiller

Stay committed to your decisions,
but stay flexible in your approach.
- Tony Robbins

Our daily decisions create the scrapbook of our life.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


 

It's your life - live your own goals,
your own values, your own life.
Be of service to others,
but make your own decisions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who molds the public sentiment...
makes statutes and decisions possible or impossible to make.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is difficult for the common good to prevail
against the intense concentration
of those who have a special interest,
especially if the decisions are made behind locked doors.
- Jimmy Carter

The tax on capital gains directly affects investment decisions,
the mobility and flow of risk capital...
the ease or difficulty experienced by new ventures in obtaining capital,
and thereby the strength and potential for growth in the economy.
- John F. Kennedy

Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Too often the great decisions are originated and given form
in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated
by them that whatever of special value women
have to offer is shunted aside without expression.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made
that didn't work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn't meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the "wrong" spouse or the "wrong" career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are
and then live with that decision.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The risk of a wrong decision is preferable
to the terror of indecision.
- Maimonides

The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart

Choose your life's mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Every decision you make ...
is a decision about Who You Are.
- Neale Donald Walsch

My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter

Once you have seen the truth
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Sheri Rosenthal

Every decision you make - every decision -
is not a decision about what to do.
It's a decision about Who You Are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes.
You begin to see life in a new way.
All events, occurrences, and situations
turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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