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Let these funny Deception Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu
Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
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A life rooted deeply lives and grows in memory.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland
Every goodbye is the birth of a memory.
- Dutch Proverb
When we lose one we love,
our bitterest tears are called forth
by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
- Maurice Maeterlinck
You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)
A life, deeply rooted, lives and grows in memory.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
- Abraham Lincoln
Gratitude is the memory of the heart.
- Jean Baptiste Massieu
Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority
is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
- Leonardo da Vinci
So long as the memory of certain
beloved friends lives in my heart,
I shall say that life is good.
- Helen Keller
There is a magic in the memory of schoolboy friendships;
it softens the heart,
and even affects the nervous system
of those who have no heart.
- Benjamin Disraeli
Many a man fails as an original thinker
simply because his memory is too good.
- Nietzsche
The timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness;
and knows that yesterday is but today's memory
and tomorrow is today's dream.
- Khalil Gibran
A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts
Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Living in the present moment requires discretion toward memory.
Without memory we'd have amnesia. What good would there be in that?
Offer discretion and discernment for our past
with a broad spectrum of forgiveness.
As for our present moment, delight.
And dedication to remain fully present to all the possibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Alas! how little does the memory
of these human inhabitants
enhance the beauty of the landscape.
- Henry David Thoreau
I think one of the finest gifts I can give
my friends in the holiday season is to pause
with a long enough quality to actually SEE them.
My calm, unhurried presence communicates
this gift of a message, "I see you. I recognize you.
I remember our times of together
and am contributing right now to another quality memory.
I value you and honor and take the time,
right this moment to pause long enough to truly notice you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Memory diffuses fact.
- Diane Sawyer
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a choice.
- Anonymous
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash
Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect,
and the absence of ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Happiness is a choice - independent of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Money has never made man happy, nor will it,
there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.
The more of it one has the more one wants.
- Benjamin Franklin
If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard
Go forth, and play joyfully in the garden of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness isn't at the end of the rainbow.
Happiness is at the beginning of the rainbow.
Following the rainbow is happiness,
not getting to the end of it.
- Werner Erhard
Happiness is a choice.
You grieve, you stomp your feet,
you pick yourself up and choose to be happy.
- Lucy Lawless
Life will not meet your expectations -
choose joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
- A Course In Miracles
Know that happiness is created by the act
of expressing gratitude for all of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The key to success, and to happiness,
is being fully engaged in life -
leading yourself with inspiration and committed action -
setting your own fine and honorable example.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where fear is, happiness is not.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Celebrate! Celebration is an expression of Gratitude.
Gratitude is like the prayer, while
Celebration is the hymn and sacred dance.
Celebration is its own road to happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gratitude is crucial to your happiness
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you don't take full responsibility
for your own happiness,
who do you suppose will?
Your happiness is a one person job -
it begins and ends with you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.