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Funny Deaths Quotes
Funny Quotes about Deaths

Let these funny Deaths Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare

Faith is a living and unshakable confidence,
a belief in the grace of God so assured that
a man would die a thousand deaths for its sake.
- Martin Luther

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf


 

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)

Grief is a normal and natural response to loss.
It is originally an unlearned feeling process.
Keeping grief inside increases your pain.
- Anne Grant

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

O Captain. My Captain. our fearful trip is done.
- Walt Whitman

When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch

A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own.
- Thomas Mann

Momma always said dyin' was a part of life.
I sure wish it wasn't.
- the movie Forrest Gump

The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
- Anonymous

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

There is no death, only a change of worlds.
- Chief Seattle

When you break up, your whole identity is
shattered. It's like death.
- Dennis Quaid

Careers and relationships also have their cycles
of birth, growth, and death -
to be followed by rebirth and the renewal of the cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not mourn the dead, but comfort the living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Without zest, what is life?
Just waiting for death?
- Osho

We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams

It's not what you take when
you leave this world behind you.
It's what you leave behind you when you go.
- Randy Travis

I cannot know the pain you feel.
I cannot share your memories or your loss.
My words of sympathy are beneath measure, yet
know that my heart reaches out with love to your heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland

Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank

Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle.
It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain

Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
- Norman Cousins

Every parting gives a foretaste of death,
every reunion a hint of the resurrection.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Do the thing you fear,
and death of fear is certain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela

Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin

Dying is a wild night and a new road.
- Emily Dickinson

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton

My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee

Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs
when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing,
because it can disappear for a long time,
and then pop back up when you least expect it.
- Lemony Snicket

Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne

It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded,
but the fear of pain or death.
- Epictetus

Only love and death will change all things.
- Khalil Gibran

For man with no forgiveness in heart,
life worse punishment than death.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

Let us all be brave enough
to die the death of a martyr,
but let no one lust for martyrdom.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To the philosopher,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.
- Socrates

Fear of death makes us devoid both of valor and religion.
For want of valor is want of religious faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Death is the final opening to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because
we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
- Anais Nin

Courage is the art of being the only one
who knows you're scared to death.
- Earl Wilson

Fear not death; for the sooner we die,
the longer shall we be immortal.
- Benjamin Franklin

If physical death is the price
that I must pay to free my brothers and sisters
from a permanent death of the spirit,
then nothing can be more redemptive.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I Cheat Death by Enjoying Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
- The Buddha

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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