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Let these funny Daylight Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
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The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill
Politics is a profession; a serious, complicated and,
in its true sense, a noble one.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business.
- Winston Churchill
War is the ultimate tool of politics.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln
I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy
Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill
I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics
do not know what religion is.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen
who would protect the rights and privileges of free people
and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity.
- Albert Einstein
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
- Delos B. McKown
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.