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Funny Dad Quotes
Funny Quotes about Dad

Let these funny Dad Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Don't forget Mother's Day.
Or as they call it in Beverly Hills,
Dad's Third Wife Day.
- Jay Leno

I love my dad, although I'm definitely critical of him sometimes,
like when his pants are too tight.
But I love him so much and I try to be really supportive of him.
- Liv Tyler

Dad was the only adult male I ever trusted.
- Michael Reagan

A dramatic thing, the first time you stand up to your dad.
- Lenny Kravitz


 

I wanted to be a forest ranger or a coal man.
At a very early age, I knew I didn't want to do what my dad did,
which was work in an office.
- Harrison Ford

When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed.
I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly.
He cut the legs off the bed.
- Lou Brock

My dad always said, 'Don't worry what people think,
because you can't change it.'
- Daisy Donovan


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My father was my teacher.
But most importantly he was a great dad.
- Beau Bridges

Dad taught me everything I know.
Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.
- Al Unser

Dad, wherever you are, you are gone but you will never be forgotten.
- Conrad Hall

My dad taught me true words you have to use in every relationship.
Yes, baby.
- Star Jones

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.
- E. B. White

Aeneas carried his aged father on his back from the
ruins of Troy and so do we all,
whether we like it or not, perhaps even if we have never known them.
- Angela Carter

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children,
except in self-defense.
- Fred Allen

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease
and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
- Victor Borge

My father taught me how to substitute realities.
- Mira Sorvino

I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal,
and I never loved any other man as much.
- Hedy Lamarr

Child-rearing is my main interest now.
I'm a hands-on father.
- Sean Penn

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth.
Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
- Dick Clark

I would never have done what I'd done if I'd considered
my father as somebody I wanted to please.
- Robert Mapplethorpe

I love the comic opportunities that come up in the
context of a father-son relationship.
- Harrison Ford

Babies don't need fathers, but mothers do.
Someone who is taking care of a baby needs to be taken care of.
- Amy Heckerling

Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned
by that which charmed their fathers.
- Aldous Huxley

Being a father, being a friend, those are the things
that make me feel successful.
- William Hurt

As a little girl I used to daydream about my real father
coming on a white horse to rescue me.
- Christine Keeler

When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb.
After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to
find out how much he'd learned in three years.
- Frank Butler

Father or stepfather - those are just titles to me.
They don't mean anything.
- Oliver Hudson

Fathers in today's modern families can be so many things.
- Oliver Hudson

A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

It is easier for a father to have children than for
children to have a real father.
- Pope John XXIII

I have never been a material girl.
My father always told me never to love anything that cannot love you back.
- Imelda Marcos

Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours,
I must look her straight in the eyes.
- Prince Charles

No, I never thought about my father's money as my money.
- Christie Hefner

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
- George Herbert

One of my earliest memories is of my father carrying
me in one arm with a picket sign in the other.
- Camryn Manheim

My father was the guy on the block who said hi to everyone.
- Damon Wayans

Undeservedly you will atone for the sins of your fathers.
- Horace

Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful.
- Cindy Crawford

No man is responsible for his father.
That was entirely his mother's affair.
- Margaret Turnbull

Because of my father, we are that Shining City on a Hill.
- Michael Reagan

I have always thought of Walt Disney as my second father.
- Annette Funicello

Do you know that other than my father,
I've never had a man take care of me?
- Dionne Warwick

You don't have to deserve your mother's love.
You have to deserve your father's.
- Robert Frost

I was raised by free-spirited people,
though my father gave me a very strong work ethic.
- Diane Lane

An angry father is most cruel towards himself.
- Publilius Syrus

My father, he was like the rock, the guy you went to with every problem.
- Gwyneth Paltrow

A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be,
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
- Frank Howard Clark

I pressed my father's hand and told him I would protect his grave with my life.
My father smiled and passed away to the spirit land.
- Chief Joseph

Rich men's sons are seldom rich men's fathers.
- Herbert Kaufman

I know that I will never find my father in any other
man who comes into my life,
because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him.
- Halle Berry

Feels good to try, but playing a father,
I'm getting a little older.
I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.
- Adam Sandler

Employee fathers need to step up to the plate and put
their family needs on the table.
- James Levine

But I have to be careful not to let the world dazzle
me so much that I forget that I'm a husband and a father.
- Herbie Hancock

I'm a father.
It isn't just my life any more.
I don't want my kid finding bottles in the house or
seeing his father completely smashed.
- Billie Joe Armstrong

My father and I have a very good relationship.
We always got along.
But I always scold him.
- Amy Sedaris

My father...
had sharper eyes than the rest of our people.
- Chief Joseph

I made a decision when my father passed away that I
was going to be who God made me to be and not try to preach like my father.
- Joel Osteen

I hope I am remembered by my children as a good father.
- Orson Scott Card

When a father, absent during the day,
returns home at six, his children receive only his temperament,
not his teaching.
- Robert Bly

All the learnin' my father paid for was a bit o' birch
at one end and an alphabet at the other.
- George Eliot

My father was the most rational and the most dispassionate of men.
- Simon Newcomb

It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.
- Jean de La Fontaine

I kept my babies fed.
I could have dumped them, but I didn't.
I decided that whatever trip I was on,
they were going with me.
You're looking at a real daddy.
- Barry White

The most important influence in my childhood was my father.
- DeForest Kelley

Whenever I fail as a father or husband...
a toy and a diamond always works.
- Shahrukh Khan

I wasn't anything special as a father.
But I loved them and they knew it.
- Sammy Davis, Jr.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument.
He told me to knock myself out.
- Jay London

I'm more comfortable with whatever's wrong with me
than my father was whenever he felt he failed or didn't
measure up to the standard he set.
- John Malkovich

I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you
must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example.
My father wasn't perfect.
- Adam Sandler

My father loved people, children and pets.
- Tony Visconti

My father was always telling himself no one was perfect,
not even my mother.
- Broderick Crawford


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