Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Cute Quotes about Life - Cute Life Quotes

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Let these cute quotes and sayings amuse you with their insights into the nature of life. Lighten up. Life doesn't have to be serious to be meaningful. Appreciate the light as well as the serious aspects of a great life.

Please sign-up for my Free Inspirational Email on the form below.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous


Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

Humor is reason gone mad.
- Groucho Marx

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell

Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.
- Anonymous

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles Schulz' Peanuts comic

To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
- Henry David Thoreau

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

It's so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you.
- Anonymous

Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate.
- Anonymous

Love is not a matter of counting the years, but making the years count.
- Michele St. Amand

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
- Victor Hugo

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama

You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership.
- Dwight Eisenhower

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
- Woody Allen

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

When you keep getting the wrong answers, try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When everything comes your way you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you, it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous quote

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg

Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain

A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

When everything comes your way you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows.
- Epictetus

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

When life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade.
- Anonymous saying

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
- Walt Disney


Please sign-up for my Free Inspirational Email on the form below.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.