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Let these funny Cried Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die,
the world cries and you rejoice.
- Indian Proverb
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart,
don't know how to laugh either
- Golda Meir
Cry for the souls of the angry,
for they sleep the troubled sleep of the damned.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
- Leslie Gore
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
- Anonymous
When a father gives to his son, both laugh;
when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- William Shakespeare
Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life,
your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.
- Rabindranath Tagore
In most communities it is illegal
to cry "fire" in a crowded assembly.
Should it not be considered serious international misconduct
to manufacture a general war scare
in an effort to achieve local political aims?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel
When you cry and weep,
when you are miserable,
you are alone.
When you celebrate,
the whole existence participates with you.
Only in celebration
do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
Only in celebration
do we go beyond the circle of birth and death.
- Osho
A loving relationship is one in which
the loved one is free to be himself -
to laugh with me, but never at me;
to cry with me, but never because of me;
to love life, to love himself,
to love being loved.
Such a relationship is based upon freedom
and can never grow in a jealous heart.
- Leo F. Buscaglia
I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Anonymous
If you do not breathe through writing,
if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing,
then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
- Anais Nin
I always like walking in the rain,
so no one can see me crying.
- Charlie Chaplin
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.