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Let these funny Crazy Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Life is a Crazy-Quilt of Suffering and Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
"Pride" is one of those really crazy words,
and such a double-edged sword -
Self-Worth on one edge, and Ego on the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
I live in a crazy time.
- Anne Frank
I always like walking in the rain,
so no one can see me crying.
- Charlie Chaplin
My father considered a walk among the mountains
as the equivalent of churchgoing.
- Aldous Huxley
Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller
My biggest dream is that my words will inspire heart,
hope and personal responsibility in people around the globe
long after my feet in these shoes aren't walking the planet.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
Walking is good for solving problems -
it's like the feet are little psychiatrists.
- Pepper Giardino
Today, walking the beach, I was reminded of the bounty
of the earth in the form of wild blackberries -
a free feast, with no one else bothering to partake.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are walking to seek, ye shall find.
- Sommeil Liberosensa
It is no use walking anywhere to preach
unless our walking is our preaching.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Travelers, there is no path.
Paths are made by walking.
- Antonio Machado
There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
- the character Morpheus in the movie The Matrix
All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
- Thomas Jefferson
My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies.
I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends, my goddamn friends.
They're the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.
- Warren G. Harding
Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.
Then what will be the quality?
Watchfully alert, joyously unmotivated,
centered, loving, flowing, one walks.
And the walking is sauntering.
Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated -
not sitting for anything in particular,
just enjoying how beautiful
just sitting doing nothing is,
how relaxing, how restful.
- Osho
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.